Speechless

By some estimates Shakespeare contributed 1,700 new words to the English language, but inventing words did not start or stop with the Bard, especially when it comes to science fiction and fantasy. New words are coined to prove to the reading/viewing audience of the authenticity of the distant world or realm the have stepped into, or to name a new piece of technology, material, concept, precious gem, etc, (unobtainium not withstanding). Sometimes words are even created to take the place of expletives in order to allow the writer to get his point across without smurfing-off the sensors and sensibilities of parental figures. In fact, there are so many invented words that it is hard for me to narrow them down or make a comprehensive list (and still find space to interject my witty and beloved brand of humor.) So instead I have decided to count down my top ten favorite fictional words.

10. FRAK [frak] n/adj/v/inj 1. a general expletive and imprecation commonly used as a vulgar reference to sexual intercourse; (fracking, fracked-up, frack-off, frackwad, motherfracker); "Frack you, Starbuck! You have practically fought or fracked every guy on this whole motherfracking ship."

In the modern era, Frack is probably one of the most obvious and well-known fictional sci-fi words created (unobtainium not withstanding.) This is mostly due to the mainstream success of the new Battlestar Galactica. Not only did the writers use it to give their show a non-earthly feel, but by interjecting it into almost every other scene it allowed them to get that gritty-real-world feel they were looking for in a show based originally on exploding models and Richard Hatch's hair.

9. DURASTEEL [dur-a-steel] n/adj 1. a metal alloy created mainly from carvanium, lommite, carbon, meleenium, neutronium, and zersium, and is capable of withstanding blistering heat, frigid cold, and monumental physical stress, even when pressed very thin; 2. something likened to durasteel in color, hardness, or strength. "These bulkhead are half of a meter thick durasteel. Nothing is getting through, not even a Jedi."

Star Wars has given us a lot of constructed construction words over the years, plasteel, permacrete, etc, but durasteel is the most commonly used and well-defined. In-universe we are told it is used for building everything from cookware to starship armor. The word is found almost exclusively in the Expanded Universe, so your most casual Lucas-lover will hardly stumble across it in day-to-day use. However, as words go its a pretty good one. It finds that right balance between other-worldly and relatable

 8. CRAPLOUSY [crap-lou-zee] adj 1. expletive usually used to express how wretchedly-bad something is. (craplousiness, craplousily, craplousiest) "Craplousy ceiling!"

Truthfully, this probably should have been an honorable mention, at best, because: A) its just the combination of two already existing words; and B) its taken from one of the worst movies ever created. (Seriously, look it up. It falls somewhere between Manos: Hands of Fate and Gigli). In case you have not already guessed it or for some reason actually know the reference, the word is from Battlefield Earth, John Travolta'a opus to L. Ron Hubbard. The only reason the word made the list is because its too hilarious and pathetic not to. Its like the shining craplousiest jewel in the craplousiest of all crowns ever made.

7. TRUTHINESS [troo-thee-ness] noun 1. truth that comes from the gut, not books, 2. the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true rather than concepts or facts known to be true. "The truthiness is that anyone can read the news to you, I promise to feel the news at you."

Again, this just a variation made on an already existing word, except where craplousy is unintentionally humorous and ironic, truthiness was created for just those explicit purposes. Coined by a man of mythic proportions, Stephen Colbert, the word was declared 2006 word of the year by Merriam-Webster. Granted, this is not actually a word created for use in sci-fi or fantasy, but the truthiness is that it feels like one that should have been. I think Stephen would agree.

6. VIBRANIUM [vi-bray-nee-um] n 1. a metal alloy originally deposited on Earth from meteorites in 8,000 BCE, which has the property of absorbing all types of vibrations, rendering the metal near-indestructible. "The vibranium deposits found there, easily make Wakanda the richest country in the world."

When looking at fictional metals it was a toss-up between Vibranium and the more well-known Adamantium (but never Unobtainium). Ultimately the decision came to to my love of Captain America over Wolverine. For those of you not in the know, there are two types of vibranium, the more common Wakandan variety, and the more powerful Antarctic variety (which can actually cut through any metal), commonly called Anti-Metal.

5. GORRAM [gor-ram] adj/inj 1. an expletive often used to exclaim any strong feel, but usually disgust, anger, or irritation. 2. a word used in adjective form as emphasis to display strong feelings. "I don't give a good gorram about relevant, Wash, or objective."

Just another craplousy day at the Church of Scientology.

When it came down to made up words, Joss Whedon's Firefly was second probably only to the show that holds the number one spot on this countdown. However, Whedon's Firefly Universe is notable not only for its new and inventive words, but for showing how the English language can (and may) change as we move into the future. The characters on the show are known to speak both English and Chinese (usually when cursing), showing (much like Bladerunner) how the languages and culture can intermingle. Additionally, Gorram is not only meant to be a substitute for Goddamn, but an evolution of the word. Human language often changes according to the laziness of the human tongue and it is not a far stretch that D's can be interchanged for R's. (I also like the word Shiney) 

4. POSITRONIC [poz-i-tron-ik] adj 1. related to or designed to utilize positrons, commonly used when referring to the circuitry and/or nervous system of an artificial creation. "My positronic brain is capable of operating within a relativistically accelerated frame of reference compared to that of humans."

Most of you will probably read the word positronic as a reference to Star Trek's Data, but in truth the term was first invented by the godfather of science fiction, Isaac Asimov in the 1940's. He used the term much in that same way it was used when referring to Data (who was an artificial life form.) It is not surprising that Star Trek used so many Asmovian concepts when dealing with androids and artificial lifeforms, as Isaac Asimov dealt so exclusively and thoroughly with the idea of AI (the movie I, Robot not withstanding.)

3. PRIME [prahym] inj 1. an interjection meaning "good," or "great," but often used in a sarcastic manner so as to show that the situation is "anything but." "We are out of energon? Well, that's just prime."

This is my most obscure reference, but also one of my favorite. It was often used by Optimus Primal of the show Transformers: Beast Wars. It was never used in seriousness but only sarcastically, often accompanied by a small sigh. As such, at the height of my infatuation with the show I remember using the phrase Well that's just prime, quite often in my own life (often accompanied by a small sigh). Even to this day I may still catch myself saying it if I am not paying attention.

2. BELGIUM [bel-juh-m] inj 1. an expletive so terrible that the concept it embodies is so revolting that the publication or broadcast of the word is utterly forbidden in all parts of the galaxy except one, where they don't know what it means. "Baby, I love you. You make my...what? What do you mean you're my sister? Belgium!!!"

In case you are not that into British "humour," the curse word comes from the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy. Douglas Adams uses the word for numerous reasons, but chiefly he is lampooning not just the invented sci-fi/fantasy curse-words of his peer authors, but also the system of censorship in general, (especially in America where the word was used to replace the F-word in print.) Also, it may be some sort of dig at Belgium.

1. FRELL [frel] 1. a general expletive and imprecation, rarely used when talking about the act of engaging in sexual intercourse; (frelled, frelling); "I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or Arthur frelling Dent. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas."

Anyone who knows Farscape is a pretty cool person. The show was the brain child of Brian Henson, (but it was not your typical Muppet production,) and was probably the coolest thing on TV for the three to four years it existed (before it suffered a similar fate to Whedon's Firefly.) In its short time on the air, Farscape redefined the meaning of invented expletives, creating such words as dranit, dren, fahrbot, frelnik, greebol, hezmana, loomas, mivonks, thoddo, tralk, yotz, and much much more. However, I had to choose frell, because much like frak it can withstand the test of time as a good short multi-purpose curse word.

Now, I am not saying that any of the above mentioned words will ever enter the English lexicon as the words of Shakespeare did, but we have to acknowledge that words have power, even those that are complete krunk. After all, the reason people started using Shakespearean words was because they wanted to emulate their favorite plays or characters. Are we really any different? 



The video above is of the show Stargate making a parody of Farscape (particularly it's invented words). The parody is all the funnier because two of the stars (Ben Browder and Claudia Black) are on both shows. You have to know you made it when your obscure sci-fi show gets parodied on another (slightly less) obscure scif-fi show.