Time and Space Sadness

Recently, I have found myself rewatching every single episode of Doctor Who starting with the shows reboot in the Christopher Eccleston days. My reasons for doing this are simple: 1) It is an awesome show, and 2)  There is a girl involved. Now this aforementioned girl has never seen a single episode, so together we began a long episodic odyssey into the modern life of everyone's favorite British alien. I am happy to report that the show is as good, (if not better,) than I remember. Yet, watching it in rapid sequence and with the assistance of fresh eyes, I think I have come to a new realization: the show is more saturated with tears than my pillow was after my high school prom. (I'm just kidding... I didn't go to prom) Could it be that Doctor Who is a show that is actually dominated by sadness, instead of happiness?

Now I always knew that Doctor Who had the ability to make a grown man cry. I mean you are made of stone if you don't shed a tear as Rose stands on that beach bidding her final farewells to the Doctor, but it goes deeper than that. Throughout all the seasons, (especially seasons 1, 2, and 4) I found myself enjoying the stories and adventures in between the season's start and finale, but ultimately they became just so much fodder leading up to the inevitable sadness to follow. It was as if each happy, loving episode was just there to remind me that I was on an uncontrollable path toward the eventual sadness that was to follow. The happy times were nothing but cruel mockery for the eventual and heart-wrenching end of the season. Thus, my entire experience this time around seemed to have been dominated by a looming shadow of what was to come.

My friend on the other hand went through our journey in a state of bliss, loving each episode for its story, humor, and warmth. Even when, (by the time we were rolling through the fourth season,) she had gotten wise to ebbs and flows that were leading us to the foregone conclusion of the season, it still did not weigh on her as it did on me. She remained happy in the moment, perhaps preferring not to think about the inevitable sadness to come. In a lot of ways, our roles began to mimic the Doctor and his Companion. I, with my burdensome knowledge of future events, coupled with the joy of watching something old (yet amazing) through the eyes of someone new, and her with her wide-eyed anticipation of the adventure and wonder that was to come with every new episode, only vaguely aware that one day the journey must end.  It is an experience that I am glad I got to share with someone I care about.

Good. Let the feels flow through you.

However, let me get back to my main question: Is Doctor Who ultimately a sad show? Perhaps, I can blame at least some of this on the order in which I watched the show. On my first "go through" I watched them on a weekly basis (during that brief moment in time they ran on Sci-Fi, until it became SyFy... Thanks NBC.) In pacing myself with each new episode I had time to revel in the feeling of adventure, joy, and love for humanity that radiates through most of the episodes of Doctor Who. I got to hold onto these emotions and let them digest slowly over an entire week. Obviously, the finales were sad, but they became footnotes in the true warmth I felt for the show. I came to equate it with Star Trek, because it gave me a hope for humanity and a comfort I could not fully describe. Yet now that I have watched them back to back, sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the coming heartache, I spent very little time digesting the individual episodes and instead found my viewing experience dominated by the season finales, that unavoidable ending which must come with all things. In a way, I have stopped comparing it to the optimistic world of Star Trek because ultimately calling Doctor Who optimistic would be a disservice to the show. After all, aren't the episodes that made us shed our tears the ones we remember the most?

Yet, on the same token calling Doctor Who a pessimistic show is also a disservice. Ultimately, after my revisiting of the old episodes and reliving the good and the bad, the triumphs and the mistakes, the friendships and the losses, I came to one conclusion, Doctor Who is like life. It's what you make of it. Maybe the Doctor's adventures are nothing but a microcosm for our own lives. Sure, they are both chalk full of sadness, but what does Sally Sparrow say? Sad is happy for deep people, because without those feelings of loss how can we ever cherish the moments in between? After all, what is life if it never ended. Perhaps we wouldn't hold on so fiercely to the memories of the good times, or laugh as loud or as hard, or even love. Really, what you think of Doctor Who reflects more on you as a person than on the show, and I want to choose to believe in that despite all the bad and the heart ache it is the good times that defines us, inspires us, makes us get up in the morning, and keeps us going through our brief days in this universe. There may be something terrible and heart-wrenching waiting for us around the next bend or on the next planet, but that's why we we need to hold onto the good times so much tighter, and live our life without fear.