DC's Agents' of SIGH

It's a show about secret agents that spend most of the time
bickering, get no real work done, and then decided to go home
early, because screw it, it's not like their job is important.

There has been a lot going on this week. I wanted to talk about how promising Marvel/ABC/Disney's new show, Agents' of SHIELD  was looking, but then two inexcusable things happened. First, my government closed its doors for business, (like that good pizza place near Baltimore I crave sometimes in the middle of the night. I love that pizza, but horrible business plan.. much like Congress actually.) Second, for some fracking reason ABC, in all its wisdom, pulled Marvel's Agents' of SHIELD from OnDemand. It seems like both my real government and my fictional government decided to shut down on almost the exact same day, and at the root of both problems is money and politics.

 

The thing that baffles me the most about the sudden disappearance of the Joss Whedon's Agents' of SHIELD is that a week before, it was very much OnDemand. I work most Tuesdays and was able to catch the series premier, (which I thought showed a lot of potential for interesting and superhero-y storylines,) with the OnDemand feature of my TV. It was right there, at the top. Now this week, when I went to repeat the experience, it has disappeared. My only theory is that Disney/ABC/Evil Corporation is trying to pull some kind of stunt where, (much like drug dealers,) they give everyone a free taste, then try to get them to pay to watch, because, as my TV and Internet have told me multiple times over the past week, Marvel's Agents' of SHIELD is on Hulu for only $8.99 a month.

 

This is a dangerous game that Disney is playing, as most people will just turn to the Internet to get their fix, further reducing the power of TV. However, this move is also not unforeseen. Ever since the mouse-run megacorp took over Marvel I have been expecting this. They only bought the comic company because, all of a sudden, comics were "the thing" and they saw a chance to make a large sum of money very quickly. They don't care about the company or the loyal fans. They just see a cash-cow (in a superhero cape) that they can milk for all of its worth and then break down and sell off for meat and animal feed when they're done with it. Yet, the real victim here is, Joss Whedon. Just when it seemed that he had finally escaped the fickle iron fisted rule of the Fox Network to produce a show, (that has every single advantage going for it,) he is once again screwed by another evil entertainment company that is going to monkey around with its broadcasting.

 

Then again, maybe I'm making too much of this. Maybe SHIELD just lost its funding and had to shut its doors for a few weeks like so many other government programs, such as NASA (because science is witchcraft,) and the Federal Elections Committee (because who needs fair elections anymore.) This to me is an exceedingly frustrating situation, but why should I care if the USDA (the people who monitor my meat) are closed for business without pay. I mean its not like Congress, who shut the government down in the first place, will be getting paid when they're out of... Oh wait, they do get paid... Even during a government shutdown? Even during a government shut down they caused, because they're too stupid and pig-headed to do their own damn jobs? The answer to those rhetorical questions is, yes, by the way.

 

Closed, due to government shutdown. It's not like Dr. Doom
or HYDRA will choose to strike at any moment.

I understand this is some kind of asinine attempt at protest by Republicans because they are being sore losers over the ObamaCare issue, but I have news for them and the Democrats in Congress, (because no one there seems to understand this,) THAT IS HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS. They've made me resort to caps-shouting. I feel ashamed, but not as ashamed as they should feel. All of a sudden they don't want to do their jobs because they would rather act like children? Well that's tough, because if something happens at my job that I don't agree with, I still have to go in everyday and keep on doing it, like 98% of Americans. We don't get the luxury to throw a hissy fit and shutdown, but for some reason our government, (which we rely on for actual and tangible services, like food for those in need,) decided to do just that. Police, firemen, and even teachers don't have the right to strike from their job or walk out in protest, because they are considered critical employees, but I guess that just means that Congress isn't critical to anyone.

 

The only thing that really scares me about all of this is that on October 17th Congress needs to raise the debt ceiling or we are going to default on our international loans. That has never happened, but if our nitwits in power aren't back in session by then, it will. Its a simple vote that requires very little thought (something most politicians are very good at,) but without it there could be horrible consequences. If we fail to pay our debt interest this year then it only proves to the rest of the world that America can no longer handle its place of power and responsibility. We risk losing the American dollar as the trusted currency of the world, (something that is already beginning to happen.) Yet, more and more it feels like this country is being ruled not by the people, for the people, but by party and for the party. After all, the Democrats and Republican have played chicken before and when neither blinked we all went over the fiscal cliff.

 

So once again, both Marvel and (Washington) DC have put their own interests ahead of the people they claim to be serving. Perhaps, the worst part is that both seem to answer to no one. Disney with its "more money than God" is almost immune from any sort of caring about what their actual consumers might want, and thanks to re-districting and gerrymandering on the state levels, most Congressional seats now sit in super-districts, which means the politicians that are the most irresponsible and fanatical in their beliefs have no fear of their voters, because it is almost impossible to get unseated, unless they upset the party, (And that is a very dangerous position for America to be in.) It seems as if both have forgotten their roots, one as a small place of quiet dignity that always wanted to do its best to fairly represent the people of the United States and give them something to hope for in the struggles of daily life, and the other Congress, which was always at least somewhat evil and lazy, but never quite like this.

 

Maybe we should make a new show about super-powered agents that do nothing but punch elected officials for 44 minutes at a time. At the very least, it would probably get a higher approval rating than Congress.