Irish Superheroes

It is St. Patrick's Day and I plan on celebrating the same way I do every year, getting some nachos and tequila at On The Border. (I'll get a pint at an Irish pub on Cinco de Mayo.) It helps me to avoid people. I shouldn't be around people, but I am digressing... Let's talk superheroes, because what else are we going to talk about? (The fact that Antarctica is melting faster than we initially thought?) So let's talk about obscure superheroes (my favorite types) and on this most auspicious of holidays, we can all raise our margaritas and salute those poor Irish superheroes that get no respect.

Notable Irish-American Superheroes: Daredevil, Captain American, and one-half of Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern)

Banshee and Siryn (Marvel)

Perhaps two of the most well-known that will appear on this list. Sean Cassidy has been a member of the X-Men, as well as his daughter Theresa Maeve Rourke Cassidy. Don't get them confused, as Banshee is Sean's codename. (Chris Claremont wasn't aware that a "banshee" was a female Irish spirit when he named him.) They both have the distinction of being the only Irish superheroes to actually appear in a live action movie, with Banshee showing up in X-Men: First Class and Siryn making a cameo in X-Men 2: X-Men United. With that said, when Banshee was first created he was basically a walking Irish stereotype. He smoked a pipe, lived in a haunted castle, and hung out with leprechauns, (Aye, I'm not pulling your leg, laddie.) In later years, both himself and Siryn have become less two-dimensional with fully fledged backgrounds, plots, and villains. So, there is hope.

Shamrock (Marvel)

Staying with the stereotypes, you can't get much worse than Molly Fitzgerald. Shamrock has flame red hair, wears a literal shamrock on her chest, and her power is "Luck." Yes, she literally has the "Luck of the Irish" on her side. Born in Dunshaughlin, Ireland, she was the daughter of a militant member of the IRA. As Shamrock, she serves as a vessel for displaced poltergeists and souls that have died as innocent victims of war; these spirits manifest themselves for fractions of seconds to cause good luck for her and bad luck for those who oppose her. For the most part, she served as a throw-away character that Marvel created for a crossover event called Contest of Champions. In other words, Marvel writers basically said, "We need an Irish superhero?" and another replied "How about we call her Shamrock. She can be lucky?" and then the whole room cried out, "Brilliant!" and harrumphed a lot. In the modern Marvel timeline she has retired from superheroics and opened a bar in New York City.

Jack O'Lantern (DC)

Are you starting to sense a pattern here? Jack O'Lantern is the title held by several people in the DC universe, most of which have been Irish. The most notable are Daniel Cormac and Liam McHugh. Jack O'Lantern is a superhero who possess a literal magical lantern that was given to him by fairy folk. This mystical lantern gives him the power of flight, flame projection, teleportation, illusion casting, enhanced strength, and the ability to create fog. In the more modern iterations of this character, McHugh has internalized the power of the lantern, so he no longer needs to carry it around. He was also a former "Irish freedom fighter," who often quibbles with his British teammate, Knight, because.. you know... that's what Irish and English people do.

Hellstrike (DC/Wildstorm)

Nigel Keane was born in Belfast, and served in the British police constabulary before moving to London, where he fell in love with Anne, his partner while investigating the IRA. Their relationship lasts until an Irish terrorist/mercenary, kills her in front of him... etc... etc. Hellstrike is a gaseous sentient post-human entity that can fire explosive plasma bolts, build a protective plasma shield, and fly. Unfortunately he is also bound to a containment suit that prevents him from dispersing. At least as far as originality of powers goes, I give Hellstrike an "A" for effort, and he is a rather complicated character, even becoming a villain for a small while. Yet, he still falls along several stereotyped lines. I mean, it amazes me how many Irish superheroes have ties to the IRA. Can't one of them just be some guy that used to sell newspapers on a street corner, or something. Do they all have to be fighting for or against Irish freedom, (which hasn't really been a thing since the mid-90's.)

Hitman (DC)

Perhaps one of the most fleshed out and interesting characters you have never heard of, Thomas Monaghan lives in Gotham City's Irish neighborhood, "The Cauldron." A Gulf War veteran he is bitten by a Bloodlines parasite (which is best not discussed) and granted the abilities of x-ray vision and limited telepathy. He then uses his new abilities to become a contract killer of metahumans, (super-humans... "Wait, I finally get the name of this blog,") which are targets most assassins and mercenaries won't go after in the DC universe, for super-obvious reasons. Somewhat of an anti-hero he has helped the Justice League out on occasions, but he spends most of his time with Section 8, DC's answer to Marvel's Great Lakes Avengers. A team of pathetic and low-powered superheroes that usually end up doing more harm than good. Even Tommy's adventures tend to be a bit more tongue-in-cheek, like the time he showed up to a tryout for the Justice League, just to use his x-ray vision on Wonder Woman. Unfortunately, with DC's new slant on dark and gritty, it doesn't seem like Hitman will be making a reappearance in the New 52 anytime soon. Even if he does, he will probably be a former member of the IRA, if not wearing a shamrock on his lapel... you know because... Ireland.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Nerd News: From the Promised Land

So I'm back from vacation and not a moment too soon, because every year in the late summer days of July, an annual gathering occurs in the City of San Diego that sets the world of geeks and nerds on fire. San Diego Comic Con has come and gone. Once again, I did not have the privilege of being able to haul my ass across the country to personally partake in the nerdy goodness, but I have been staying abreast of all the amazing updates and news thanks to services like Nerdist and Machima, and it is my solemn duty to boil down some of the more exciting announcements for everyone out there. So if you want to hear about my vacation to Asia, tune in next week, because right now it's time to dive into the world of SDCC14.

Game of Thrones Cast Announcements

As far as Con news goes this is probably pretty low on the geek totem pole, but it is one that has me personally excited. With Game of Thrones Season 5 getting ready to shoot the GoT panel announced what actors would be joining the show this year, with most of the new faces centering around the, so far unexplored, kingdom of Dorne. The cast member announcement that really gets my nerd sense tingling is Alexander Siddig, who played Doctor Julian Bashir on one of my fave Treks, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He will be playing Prince Doran Martell, the ruler of Dorne, and the guy who is going to be a little bit peeved that the Lannisters killed his brother, Oberyn. Also the panel revealed a blooper reel of Season 4, which was cute.

Movies

In movie news, this looks like it is the year of the kaiju and post-apocalypses. Legendary films announced a slew of giant monster flicks including Godzilla 2, a King Kong prequel called, Skull Island, and Pacific Rim 2, (which I am personally excited for.) It has also led to some speculation that this could be the beginning of a shared movie monster universe, though that seems like nothing more than wistful thinking on the part of some of the more optimistic nerds out there. The real truth is that with the success of Godzilla, it is more likely that Legendary will try and milk this 85 foot city-destroying cow for all its worth. 

On the flip side, Con goers were treated to news that Sam "Let's all Forget Spider-Man 3 Existed" Rami is in talks to make a Last of Us movie starring Maise Williams (Arya Stark) as Ellie, with Naughty Dog on board and intent on keeping full creative power over the film. (Can anyone say Bruce Campbell cameo?) Eager fans were also treated to a full trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road, which was written and directed by original Mad Max creator, George Miller, and is not starring Mel "Crazy Pants" Gibson. However, the movie looks to be done with mostly practical effects and of course takes place in the wild red center of death that is the Australian Outback, so that alone is enough to get me excited. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For got a full trailer preview and it looks Frank Millerish enough to please. Also the Hobbit, and Hunger Games.

Lastly, again from Legendary, comes the movie Warcraft... yes, that Warcraft, which will be in theaters in March of 2016. The movie will tell the story of the origins of the war between the Humans and the Orcs. The small trailer that was shown to Con goers is of no or little help. It is mostly just scenes of Azeroth with narration. Apparently the movie has completed shooting, but there is so much CGI that is required, (because you know this is originally a video game with thirty years of CGI lore built in to it,) that no actual footage was ready for revealing at SDCC14. Personally, I am going to hold my opinions on this one, (which means I am immediately going to pass judgement.) I have doubts if whether the already mythos-heavy world of Azeroth is going to translate well to the screen in a way that will satisfy both casual movie watchers and every single gods-be-damned level 85 dungeon raider out there. Also the game of Warcraft was always more about impersonal armies, or very personal human-created avatars. Yes there are heroes and villains in the lore, but I think it's going to be hard to find a human aspect that is going to grab people enough to get them truly invested. Yet, with any luck maybe this will be more than just another money-making scheme by Blizzard to capitalize on their most popular franchise.

Television

In comparison, news from the television side of things is smaller but chock full of a lot of exciting things that will soon be coming to your small screen. First a full five minute preview of the upcoming Family Guy/Simpsons crossover episode was previewed and despite the fact that I haven't watched either show in about five years, I have to admit it looks pretty funny. The Walking Dead panel promised that Season 5 is going to be the best season yet, even promising to showcase more iconic moments and characters from the comic books. Season 4 had kind of a lull, so we will see if Season 5 can regain the show's momentum. On the Marvel front, Agents of SHIELD will be returning this September and they have announced that they will be adding Xena to the cast. Lucy "Don't Tell Sam Rami I'm Here" Lawless will be playing an unspecified role, (fingers crossed for Madam Hydra.) Marvel also let slip that their newest TV show, Daredevil, will be appearing on Netflix next May. Charlie Cox will star as Matt Murdock/Daredevil, and the show will air thirteen episodes. We will just have to wait and see if the Man Without Fear also makes any cameo appearances on the big screen as well.

Marvel

Every year since 2008 it seems like SDCC is dominated by whatever Marvel sees fit to to tease us with. This year has been no exception, with the exception that not all the news we got this year has been encouraging. Let's start with the good. Josh Brolin has been confirmed to be playing Thanos. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 already has a release date for July 28, 2017 (which is surprising because the first movie doesn't come out till this Friday,) and Con goers who were lucky enough to get through the vaunted gates of Hall H, were treated to the first look of footage from Age of Ultron, (complete with Hulkbuster Armor.) All of this seems to show that Marvel has no intention of slowing down anytime soon as they begin the launch of their Phase 3 in the next year or so.

With that said, let's talk about the signs that might mark Marvel's undoing. Ant-Man which hasn't even begun shooting yet, is having production nightmares. After the departure of director, Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Shaun of the Dead) there are even more harrowing signs that this newest Marvel leap of faith could be a bridge too far. Peyton Reed has taken over the helm, a director best none for films like Bring it On. Now three more actors: Patrick Wilson, Matt Gerald, and Kevin Weisman have dropped out of the project for reasons yet unknown. Worst of all, filming is scheduled to begin next month, and by all accounts the movie still does not have a solid script. Edgar Wright seemed the perfect fit for this kind of project, dealing with a superhero whose main powers are shrinking and talking to ants would definitely seem to fit better with a more tongue-in-cheek type of tone, as opposed to that of Captain America or Thor. Perhaps, equally as telling Benedict Cumberbatch took himself out of the running for the titular role of Doctor Strange, leaving rumors of the Sorcerer Supreme to be played by either Jared Leto or Joaquin Phoenix. Most people expected a final casting announcement during the Marvel panel that never came, possibly because of Cumberbatch's withdrawal. On the surface these small things seem like small problems, but my biggest fear is that we are just seeing the beginning cracks in the armor that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (How fitting that Ant-Man might forever be remembered as the hero that brought down the MCU.) Could this be a telling sign of what may come? I hope not?

DC

The other titan on the SDCC floor is DC Comics, who, unlike Marvel, seem to always have mixed messages when it comes to their announcements. Despite the fact that DC failed to announce anything about their supposed Shazam, Sandman, (Stand-alone) Wonder Woman, or their Flash/Green Lantern projects, DC apparently blew Con goers away with footage of Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and though the footage is not yet available for the YouTube public, I can't help but feel (at least a little) hopeful. Maybe all the crap that I hated about Man of Steel (and I hated a lot of it) was for a reason. Maybe, all of that will just help lead the DC Cinematic Universe down some great path I have yet to foresee. Maybe, this will all be part of the journey of this new Superman, and because of it I will come to love him even more. (Or maybe DC has no idea what they are doing, and are really just grasping at straws to keep their head above water.) I suppose only time will tell. However, if the new Wonder Woman costume is any indication, than maybe (just maybe) DC is starting to right their ship and find their heading. Either way, with a costume this beautiful it would be a crime is Wonder Woman failed to get her own stand-alone movie... Well, let's face it, it's a crime anyway that that never happened.

This year's Comic Con news may not be as big or as flashy as some of the news we got last year, but there is a quality to it that promises hope for our combined culture. So stay tuned, True Believers, because with any luck, it just gets better from here.

The Story's Voice

I have very few superpowers. For instance, my core temperature is slightly above normal, allowing me to walk around in winter in T-shirts, and throw fireballs from my hands like Johnny Storm, (but I don't really like to talk about it.) However, one of those limited powers involves a strange sort of ability to recognize celebrities in all instances. I have watched TV shows and have been able to pick people out under layers of make-up and prosthetics just by the way they move their mouth or shake their head. This talent also extends to celebrity voices, which may be one of the reasons why I still enjoy watching the occasional cartoon.

I am fascinated by voice acting, and if I ever were to try my hand at celebritiness, voice acting would definitely be the way to go for me. ("Come to work in my pajamas and talk into a microphone, sure.") So for anyone who doesn't share my practiced ear, let me share with you some mind blowing facts about celebrities who are the voices behind some of your most beloved childhood cartoons.

Let's start off by talking Disney. Now first off, we all know that Dory was voices by Ellen DeGeneres, or that Tom Hanks was Woody, etc. In my mind those don't count because those are instances when celebrities were picked to be the voices of cartoons because they were celebrities. It is ironic that there are a treasure trove of talented voice actors out there, but when it comes to the big budget cartoon movies they are almost always replaced by recognizable actors, because Hollywood... However, Disney has used lesser known actors and actresses in the past, my two favorite examples are Aladdin and Mulan. Yes Robin Williams was the voice of Aladdin's Genie and Eddie Murphy was the voice of the Mulan's Dragon, we all know that. But Did you know:

Steve from Full House voiced Aladdin, and Ming Na Wen from Agents of SHIELD voiced Mulan. (Also, an interesting fact, Ming Na Wen is freaking 50 years old, and looks younger than me,) but maybe you already knew these two. Maybe you, my hypothetically generic reader, are smarter than the average beast, but I bet you would never have guessed that:

That's right, the late Jerry Orbach, best know as the smart alec, veteran, no nonsense New York detective on the original Law and Order voiced the French candlestick, Lumiere, in Beauty and the Beast and unlike the two actors I mentioned above, he also did the singing voice for the character. Now picture Detective Lenny Briscoe singing Be Our Guest at a crime scene and your day will be complete.

Nickelodeon  has more than few surprises as well to offer up from the voice community. Some people may know that Bruce Willis played the voice of Spike for a Rugrats/Wild Thornberries movie, or that Repatar was voice by Busta Rhymes in the Rugrats movie, but meet the voice of Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life:

Carlos Alazraqui from Reno 911 voiced Rocko all the way through the run of the show. Yet this is actually not that surprising. Alazraqui is primarily a voice actor, with Reno 911 being one of his only live action roles. He also plays Mr. Crokcer on Fairly Odd Parents.

My favorite celebrity/voice actors all come from the classic 80's cartoons that my generation watched on Saturday mornings, back when Saturday Morning Cartoons were a thing, (I guess nowadays its Saturday Morning... I can't even make a joke here. What do kids do on Saturday mornings now? Xbox?) The Transformers had their share of more than a few famous voice actors:

That's right Casey Kasem, the voice behind American Top 40, and other radio and TV music shows was the American voice of the Autobot Cliff Jumper, and Leonard Nimoy himself voiced the Decepticon, Galvatron, who took over as the show's main baddy after the death of Megatron. (Transformers was kind of like a Japanese soap opera for kids.) Yet, the most surprising voice belongs to this fellow:

Freakin' Citizen Kane himself, Orson Welles, voiced Unicron, the giant planet-sized transformer. Urban legend states that Welles had fallen on some hard times during the 80's and was left with very few options but to lend his voice to a transforming Japanese robot in order to continue paying his cigar and hooker bills. It was also said that he hated the part, but tragically and ironically (tragonically?) the part of Unicorn was the last part the titan of film and radio ever played. He died shortly after reading the part for Transformers the Movie. At least that is how the modern myth of transforming fighting robots reads. Still my favorite stories comes from the Real Ghostbusters the cartoon show based on the classic movie series.

Thus further proving that the 80's were a good time for Arsenio Hall and Dave Coulier. An ironic caveat is that Dave Coulier, best know as Uncle Joey on Full House, was not the original voice for cartoon Peter Venkman. The job originally belonged to Lorenzo Music, whose biggest credit is that he co-created the Bob Newhart Show. Mr. Music (that's a fun name) was the original voice of Garfield the cat, a job that was taken over in the movie by none other than Bill Murry or the real-life Peter Venkman.

Speaking of 80's voice cartoons, the next two you might have heard about:

That's right, James Avery, the lovable Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince found himself being fustrated by more than the just antics of Will Smith. It turns out he had four green menaces haunting his dreams as he played Shredder on the 80's incarnation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the uncool Urkel, Jaleel White, from Family Matters, was in fact the ultra-cool voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. In fact, Jaleel voiced Sonic across three different cartoon versions.

However no show in the good old Regan era even holds a candle to Captain Planet and the Planeteers. That show was packed with celebrity voices, and not just relative unknowns or B-list TV actors. I am talking actors in the prime of their careers, or at least on the rise in Hollywood. My only theory is that Captain Planet was a cartoon show with a heavy hand toward pushing environmentalism, so for liberal Hollywood it probably seemed like the place to be. For example:

Kwame the African planeteer was played by LeVar Burton, and Gaia was played by fellow Star trek alum Whoopi Goldberg, during the height of both their careers. The rest played villains, which meant they only had to show up for like five episodes in a year, and most celebrities wound up dropping off their parts after only a season or two. For instance when Sting left the role of Zarm it was taken over a year later by Malcolm "freaking" McDowell. Probably the least known of any of the people on this list is Dean Stockwell who played Duke Nukem, (not the one you're thinking of,) but I including him because Quantum Leap rules, and he voiced the character at the height of its popularity, same goes for Cliff from Cheers, but John Ratzenberger would go on to do other voice work as a talking piggy bank, which people nowadays may be more familiar with.

Tim Curry also played the voice of an evil Computer, MAL, but much like Ed Asner they are both prolific voice actors in their own rights. Tim's naturally malevolently deep voice lends itself to so many evil characters... as well as Nigel Thornberry, for some reason.

There are of course other shows that feature just as many hidden celebrity voices. Mark Hamil, (Mr. Luke Skywalker himself,) is actually a huge figure in the voice acting community. Hamil got into a bad car accident some years after filming Return of the Jedi and his face was badly scarred, and that put an end to his onscreen career. So he picked up the pieces by using his voice talents to fill the gaps. His most notable and memorable character is the Joker on the old Batman The Animated Series. He has continued that voice into modern times, as he continues to voice the Joker for the Arkham games along with veteran Batman voice actor, Kevin Conroy. In fact, the DC Animated Universe, (which was spawned form Batman TAS,) has utilized almost every voice actor or B-list celebrity they can get there hands on over the years. I could literally write another blog on the voice talent in that show alone.

Similarly, Disney's Gargoyles a somewhat cult classic cartoon show from the 90's, features pretty much every actor who was ever on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and Star Trek: Voyager, (and Ed Asner.) That probably has more to do with the fact that Jonathon Frakes, who played William Riker on TNG, was one of the principal cast and started pulling in other cast members from the shows which were also running concurrently with the cartoon at the time. I really only mention it because it so apparent that many fans have loving referred to the show as Star Trek: Gargoyles.

But we're not done yet. I have saved the best ones for last. I have no real stories for any of these. I think think they are kind of surprising. So I'll just go ahead and show you:

So take that for what it's worth. JK Simmons, best know for his roles on Law and Order, and as the best damn J. Jonah Jameson anyone has ever saw, from Sam Rami's Spider-Man Duology (I refuse to acknowledge Spider-Man 3,) plays the voice of the Yellow M&M on commercials. Jessica Walter, from Arrested Development, used to be the voice of Fran the Dinosaur on ABC's old sitcom, Dinosaurs. Of course she is no stranger to voice work, as anyone who has watched Archer knows. Similarly, Fergie makes a life by using her voice (and other *ahem* assets,) but it was only her voice she started with, which is maybe why she played the voice of Sally Brown for a few of the old Charlie Brown movies. Yet the most shocking has to be the fact that Michael Cera was the voice of Brother Bear on the Berenstein Bears. Just when you thought he couldn't get more awkward.

So I hope I have opened your eyes up to a few of the faces behind the animation. Voice acting has always held a strange fascination for me. There is a story behind every word and person being every voice. So maybe keep your ears open the next time you are watching a cartoon, a movie, or even a commercial. You may just be surprised with who you hear.

Five Best Friends on TV

Television is filled with memorable characters, some good, some bad, and some are people who you wouldn't mind being friends with in real life. They are the crazy, the cool, the funny, and sometimes the downright weird. So in celebration of the recent loss of two of my favorite TV friends (see No. 4) I want to present a list of what I consider to be the top five ultimate best friendships on TV, past or present.

Honorable Mentions: Corey Matthews and Shawn Hunter (Boy Meets World); Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza (Seinfeld); Chuck Bartowski and Morgan Grimes (Chuck); Will Smith and Carlton Banks (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air); Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy (30 Rock); Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street); Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (Friends); Dean Winchester and Castiel (Supernatural); James T. Kirk and Spock (Star Trek); Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh (South Park).

5. Tyrion Lannister and Bronn of the Blackwater Game of Thrones

Though their relationship started as one of sellsword and "person who has a lot of money and needs protection" it has progressed into something more. Bronn is not your average mercenary, as his quick wit and obvious common sense smarts means he can keep up with Tyrion's own intellect, or at the very least offer a one-liner that cuts to the heart of whatever was just said in a conversation. Yet, its more than just their banter that makes them a good pairing. Bronn helps keep Tyrion grounded and Tyrion offers Bronn a better life than he could have ever hoped to have as a common thug for hire. They both like to pretend that they stay together because of the money Tyrion is paying Bronn (and though that's a perk) you can tell that they genuinely like each other.

BRONN: Don't get killed.

TYRION: Nor you, my friend.

BRONN: Oh... are we friends now?

TYRION: Of course we are. Just because I pay you for your services, doesn't diminish our friendship.

BRONN: It enhances it, really.

TYRION: Oh, "enhances". Fancy word for a sellsword.

BRONN: I've been spending time with fancy folks.

4. Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster Psych 

The longest friendship of this list, Shawn and Gus have been friends since childhood. The pair just celebrated their last adventure together in a very fitting and heartfelt series finale, but even though the series is over, the friendship of these two lives on. Shawn is a brilliant but lazy and jobless man-child. Gus is straight-laced and hardworking, but can be a mess in his personal life. Together the men have forged a friendship unlike any other. They have spent so much time together they practically have their own language based on snide mouth clicks, one word sentences, and on the spot lies and aliases, (mostly instigated by Shawn.) Much like the show itself, the pair never takes themselves too seriously, even when Gus has a manic breakdown (which he is prone to.) Shawn is that friend who you often find yourself enduring a lot of BS with, but for some reason can never stay mad at. He often acts aloof at the expense of Gus, but the truth is that he cares deeply for him and vice-versa, one hardly seems able to exist without the other.

SHAWN: Here's the thing: I think Scott was murdered, robbed. The killer thinks the coast is clear. He's finally selling off his belongings. [Knocks on door]

GUS: So all we have to do is find the seller.

SHAWN: We just did!

GUS: What?

SHAWN: Ooh.

GUS: You just knocked on the door of a murderer and all you can say is, "Ooh?"

SHAWN: I should have thought about it in my head before I said it out loud, but I wanted a fun reveal. For you!

GUS: Shawn!

3. Abed Nadir and Troy Barnes Community

Have you ever had a friend who you get completely lost in? Well Troy knows exactly what that is like, as more than four years of his life has become consumed by his friendship with Abed, this kid who he met at a local community college. In all fairness though, it's kind of hard not to get swept up in the world of Abed, even the best of the Greendale Community finds it hard to resist. Troy, however, is not just a sidekick to Abed, a Constable Reggie to his Inspector Spacetime, as it is revealed that Troy helps keep Abed grounded. Perhaps for the former high school jock, Abed is the kind of person he always needed in his life, someone to let him know that building pillow forts and loving LeVar Burton so much that it restricts your ability to speak, is okay. For Abed, Troy is the one person who not only doesn't get tired of his constant antics, but even goes so far as to protect him from the outside world. Troy worries and cares about his friend, deeply, knowing that Abed always tends to be one magical claymation adventure away from a mental breakdown. Regardless, how can you fault either of them for a friendship that includes a fake morning talk show?

ABED: I hate when they finish each other’s…

TROY: … pies.

2. John Dorian and Christopher Turk Scrubs

Speaking of two people who have been friends since college and have an unspeakable bond that transcends both race and embarrassment, JD and Turk are among the two best friends you will ever meet. Their love is so deep that they actually sleep very comfortably next to one another in the same bed. Turk is more the jock and JD more the clumsy emotional one, but they both equally enjoy playing pranks and generally being weird. Their strengths and weaknesses sort of blend together, making them seem more like two parts of one biracial love-doctor, than two separate people. When Turk needs to figure out his emotions JD is there to help. When JD knocks himself unconscious in an attempt at playing sports, Turk is there to make him feel better. With pet names such as "chocolate bear," and being overwhelmingly comfortable with each other physically, its not hard to see why their relationship practically coined the term, "bromance," or an entire song about "Man Love." It is also pretty well understood that neither of them will ever love their significant others in quite the same way as they love each other.

TURK: We agreed that's how we'd raise our kids.

JD: Our kids? Turk, we're not married.

TURK: Dude, we're a little married.

JD: I know. I love it.

1. Lucille Ricardo and Ethel Mertz I Love Lucy

A friendship can start in many ways, college, childhood, hiring one person to be your mercenary killer, etc... but for Lucy and Ethel it all started when Lucy and her husband Ricky moved into the apartment building of Fred and Ethel Mertz. In that moment one of the first ever TV friendships was formed. Lucy is a schemer and even though Ethel is more level-headed she often finds herself wrapped up in the machinations of her crazy friend. A lot of the plots of the show center around Lucy and Ethel trying to pull something off while avoiding the attention of their husbands and in these moments you see two women who truly care about one another. The term "thick as thieves" is not an inappropriate analogy for the two. In a way their relationship was the forerunner for a lot of the others on this list: one's a dreamer the other is grounded; one's kind of dumb the other is smart; one's always got a plan and the other wants nothing to do with it. They even have their own friendship song, (much like JD and Turk.) Yet their relationship is still completely unique and has withstood the test of time, even after more than fifty years of television history.

LUCY: Oh, gee, Ethel, thanks. It's times like these when you know what friends are for.

ETHEL: If I'd known this was what friends were for, I'd have signed up as an enemy!

7 Shows that Should be Made

NBC announced this past week that they will reboot Heroes, the only show in TV history that has the distinction of imploding into a pile of ash and debris quicker than the Death Star, (ironically, due to a singular fatal weakness, an inability on the writers part to plan for anything after the first season.) And much like the Galactic Empire, NBC has seen fit to try again on their ultimate planet destroying idea. Thus, barring an unexpected rebel attack, we will be looking at a 13-episode miniseries (read backdoor pilot) set in the Heroes universe. This once again proves that even though there are a literal infinite number of show ideas, spinoffs, reboots, and remakes that could be made by TV executives, it's easier to pull an idea out the trash than apply a little effort and make something new.

However, if you are a Heroes fan congratulations, I don't want to take away your thunder. However, if we are going to be resurrecting shows, I have a few ideas (both old and new) of my own which I think the networks might consider. (Firefly is not on this list, but it should be.) Buried in the following list I promise there is as at least one gem.

Star Trek

Let's start with a no brainier. Star Trek started on TV and it belongs on TV. The current crew is young, sexy, and most of them aren't big enough actors, yet, that they could afford to turn down a steady paycheck. After all J.J. Abrams has made it pretty clear that he's done with the franchise and has now moved on to ruining Star Wars. That means Star Trek is available and can be saved. This would be a good way to bring the franchise back to its roots, hour-long adventures that force the viewing audience to take stock of their place in humanity, while still being entertaining. I'm not saying we do away with the fun of the movies. You can still have the flash (and even the lens flare) on the small screen, but we can leave the over-the-top (popcorn) stories to the silver screen, and the studio would still be free to release movies after every few seasons. (It was a formula that worked for Next Generation.) As a bonus most of the sets have already been built, the studio would only needs to make an investment in whatever new sets are needed for the current season.This is definitely a prime time network show, like a 9 pm slot. So you know they could also cram as many commercial breaks into it as they want.

Why it Would Work: Star Trek has been a staple of TV since the sixties. Now the new movies (one good and one bad) have created a whole new generation of fans. This is a golden opportunity for the studio to prove the versatility of the franchise. Besides the last movie left off with the crew of the Enterprise embarking on its 5-year mission. Boom, TV premise set. You can even rehash old TV storylines for the modern audiences and combine them with brand new ones, all the while throwing in the angst of being sexy and young and in space. Its been too long since new Star Trek was on TV. So I say, let's boldly go where we have all gone thousands of times before.

ALF

ALF was a sitcom based around a strange hairy alien that crash landed on Earth and was taken in by a typical 1980's TV family. The show was as corny and awesome as that description might sound. It also never got a proper send-off, ending on a cliffhanger, with ALF being captured by the United States Air Force for "testing." And that is where our show picks up, twenty-four years later. ALF has spent the better part of two and a half decades with the USAF. He lives a relatively cushy life in a government facility, using his wits to basically get whatever he wants. Then something happens and ALF finds himself free of the facility, and on the run. He gets taken in by another Earth family, but this one is a little less 80's sitcom and little more Modern Family. ALF (who has been isolated form the world for almost 25 years) now all of a sudden has to contend with life on the outside of his luxurious prison, and all the comedic problems of a modern American family. (Does ALF get a smartphone? An online dating profile?.. The ideas are practically endless.)

Why it Would Work: ALF has never really left the pop culture subconscious. He pops up every few years in commercials or for cameos. Let's face it, of the original actors on ALF, he is the only one who ever got another acting gig after the show's cancellation. So there is a fan base. Also, by updating the look and feel of the show we can give it a real Modern Family, type vibe. ALF and cast can even talk to the camera (in the post-reality TV world humor stylings of The Office and Modern Family.) Call NBC and hire some snappy comedy writers and I think we got a Fall hit.

The Fresh King of Bel-Air

I know what your thinking, (wait a minute, you can't replace Will Smith,) and I want to reassure you I would never. What sparked this idea was that fact that I read an article (i.e. some random thing on the Internet) the other day that said that Will Smith is now the same age that Uncle Phil was when the Fresh Prince first started airing. That gave me a crazy idea, "What if hot dogs had cheese injected directly inside them," then I found out that Oscar Meyer beat me to that one, so I came up with another one, "What if we redid Fresh Prince except this time, Will Smith was the dad." Obviously he would never be Uncle Phil, those shoes were too big to fill, as were his pants (rest in peace James Avery,) but we can see how Will Smith (the character) has evolved from punk kid to successful (and rich) father figure. It's not even that big of a stretch. It would basically be a fictionalized version of (real-life) Will Smith's real life. We can give him a fake high paying pseudo-celebrity job like a news anchor or radio DJ and then watch how a kid from the streets of West Philly handles raising rich kids in Bel Air. I would even bet that Will Smith could come up with a few child actors who were seemingly born to play the parts of his kids.

Why it Would Work: Two words, Will Smith. As a teenager he was a driving force behind the last show that basically rocketed him to stardom. Now he can call this one his retirement gig and pass the torch onto his own kids, (which he has been unsuccessfully trying to do for years now.) However, I would argue that the focus would still have to remain mostly on Will, not the kids. And unlike ALF, the new Fresh King would not need a format change. We can cut the laugh track, but the Fresh Prince's penchant for wittiness and breaking the fourth-wall would fit right in with today's sitcoms. Added bonus, the original cast would be more than welcome to come back for frequent cameos, all excluding Carlton, who I would expect to be a regular on the show. (Will Smith needs Uncle Carlton to be his partner in crime.) Someone call Alfonso Ribeir's people... Do you think he is available?

Flash Gordon

Yes, I know it was briefly rebooted for one season in 2007, but that version was never quite up to snuff. It was made by Sci Fi, (not SyFy) back when that channel still had some credit to its name. However, it was very underfunded and felt a little claustrophobic. Channels like Starz or Showtime are always looking for shows to rival Game of Thrones, and this could be a good one. Throw a lot of money at it, limit it to to ten episodes a season, and you could get an intriguing, exciting, and sweeping story about the human named Flash Gordon who gets lost in an alternate dimension, trying to find his way home. Along the way he can get caught up in plots of intrigue, power, war, and frontal nudity. There is a lot of potential to make a show that has its own creative flare yet brings together elements of other shows and movies that audiences love so much. It would require massive writing chops on the part of the writers and producers, but they do have some source material to draw from. However, they do not have to remain completely beholden to that source material. The show would need to distinguish itself form the old campy serial feel, yet not be so over the top to as turn people off. It is a fine line to walk, but a happy medium can be found.

Why it Would Work: The show can do a good job of straddling that border of science fiction and fantasy, and yet bring something new to the table. Also, giving it adult themes and not pulling punches will help keep people interested. Even better the show has name-brand recognition, but not a large group of hard-core fans that will call for people's heads if something is off from the old TV show or movie. Deep characterization and a rich background world would be critical for success on this one.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Forget the campy/corny Sean Connery movie. I am talking a full ten episode-season based on the first volume of the acclaimed comic book series. A group of literary superheroes are brought together by a mysterious figure to stop an equally power literary villain from destroying London. One-part superhero story, one-part steampunk, this Alan Moore classic crosses genres in amazing and awe inspiring ways. It gets even better, because unlike my proposed Flash Gordon project the source material is both strong and rich in subtext and background. Moore has already laid the groundwork of a world where all our literary characters are real and breathing. Everything from Shakespeare to Lovecraft exists in this world as fact, but not so outrageous as to temper the seriousness and awesomeness of the series. This would also be a proposed project for an adult network, (HBO, Showtime, etc.) Alan Moore makes no PG allusions to murder or sex in his comics and the show shouldn't either. Drop all the unnecessary silliness and put back in the grit and danger of the comics. Then, all you have to do is hire some actors with real acting ability and you have a true recipe for success. This unique idea deserves a second chance to have some screen time.

Why it Would Work: The name recognition alone is worth its weight, but I promise that in an age where anything superhero or comic book is becoming blockbuster gold, this is the kind of project that the world needs. Better yet, this idea can be sustained. The second volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is even better than the first, and with other resources like the Black Dossier and the 1910's volume, there is more than enough to make this into a sustainable show. If Walking Dead proves anything, it's that comics (even non-DC or Marvel ones) can turn a huge profit when done right.

House of Winterfell

Let's switch gears for the next entry and talk spinoff. Game of Thrones has been a TV success story for the past three seasons and the fourth season will be even better, but the time between seasons is so long. Now I have a way for HBO to fill that gap, a spinoff/prequel series set in Winterfell. The one thing I always regretted was that we never really got a lot of time to see the Starks as a family. How they interacted, what they did together, what everyday problems did they face? Yes, we get a sense of all that, but I want to see it. I want to be a part of their challenges and problems with one another. We can flush out how much Catelyn really hates Jon Snow, or the relationship between Robb and Theon Greyjoy. We can also get a sense of what is going on in the North and in the Seven Kingdoms before the death of Robert Baratheon and the events of the first season. It would certainly deepen our connections to the characters and the eventual heartbreak we would feel at the events of the main show, but also I think it would just be kind of fun to watch the people that we love just be happy and alive together, as a family.

Why it Would Work: It wouldn't. I'm not a fool, of all the shows I suggest on this list, this is completely unlikely. It is just a fantasy of mine, (also an excuse to make the graphic I did.) The actors who play Bran, Rickon, Arya, and Sansa are way too old to ever go back and do something like this, so we would have to make it a cartoon format, which might lessen the serious tone of the entire universe. (you know Clone Wars-style.) Still it would be nice to get at least one season where a character played by Sean Bean wasn't killed.

The Secret Life of the American President

Has it ever struck you how sometimes American Presidents are kind of like the Doctor. Basically, you have a long list of men, mostly white, who seem to regenerate into someone else every four to eight years, yet they all seem remarkably similar, (mostly because they're bland politicians.) Sure there are a few notable ones, Lincoln always wore that hat and scarf, and Clinton was known to get a little too friendly with his companions, but let's take this idea a step further. What if the American president, in addition to his other responsibilities, was bestowed with the powers to fight monsters, protect the planet from the paranormal, and maybe even time travel (maybe). This power might also explain why President's age much faster than the rest of us. Also, the show doesn't have to be linear. We can go back and watch Washington fight British werewolves, or Andrew Jackson take down a chupacabre. maybe Kennedy wasn't really assassinated but died fighting a Communist robot, and the subsequent assassination was staged. Both tongue in cheek and sci-fi alternate history this show would be like Chuck meets the X-Files meets West Wing. This kind of show would be perfect for the History Channel. Hell, their definition of history has loosened up so much over the years you can fly a spaceship being driven by Nostradamus through it.

Why it Would Work: I would only ever expect a cult following of this show, but that following would be made up of crazy fans who dress up like sasquatch hunting minutemen and will start furious Kickstarter campaigns at the drop of any mention that the show might even be slightly threatened by cancellation, which it probably would be every twelve episodes. So we do the next logical thing, we attach Joss Whedon's name to it and badda bing badda boom we have ourselves a show, that will probably still be canceled, but at least it will make tons of money in DVD sales.