MaryDoodles

Kiwi Rocket

MaryDoodles is the moniker of the YouTube artist, Mary whose time-elapsed videos are not only totally awesome but awe inspiring. Maybe this has more to do with my own inability to draw anything other than crude and caveman like stick figures, but I find that I am fascinated with watching her videos. As a bonus her side job seems to be creating costumes and props for Epic Rap Battles of History, one of my favorite YouTube channels to date.

Mary's use of pencil, ink, and water color are simply amazing, and in fast motion it looks as if colors and images simply glide onto the page, as if they had been there all along and all she is really doing is revealing the true and hidden face of the page beneath her brush. On a whole her videos are short, usually no longer than three minutes on average, but even that small period become the breath of a moment as you watch the artist create a unique and fantastic image. Each stroke brings the promise of something new and exciting and ever so beautiful.

  I Love You, I Miss You	  See How it was Made
 Little Red Wolf Hunter	  How it was Made
	 

If you are interested in checking out MaryDoodles, check her out on:

-YouTube

-DeviantART

-Facebook

-Twitter



 

 

 

 

 

The Running Dead

There is one shameful secret that you must know about me before we begin, I am terrified of zombies... It's true... Yet, with all my claim to nerdiness they are not a subject matter I can easily ignore. Let's face it, zombies are so "in" right now that even the CDC is taking notice of them, but they scare me. So, I have only ever been a reluctant undead-enthusiast. I watch movies like Dawn of the Dead, shows like Walking Dead, and play games like Resident Evil only half-heartedly. Even movies like Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland still strike a quivering nerve that I don't quite want to face, (in the manliest way possible, of course.)

This makes little sense, because I am not terrified of vampires or werewolves. Logically, in a one to one battle I would probably get devoured by a werewolf or sparkled to death by a vampire, but I could reasonably defeat a single member of the shambling undead. So what is it about the undead? It's the mindlessness. There is something about a mindless, unceasing mass of opponents that just freaks me out. I have very similar feelings about Reavers, (though I would make the argument they are not completely mindless, because they are shown to be able to pilot starships and launch coordinated attacks.) At least against a vampire I can reason with him, maybe even anticipate his strategy and out-think him, but not with a zombie. There is no reasoning with a zombie.

Maybe it has something to do with my own intelligence. I value my ability to think, reason, strategize, and even talk my way out of any situation I might find myself in, (though admittedly my Charisma score is only like an 11.) Going up against an opponent that not only resists my attempts at reasoning and rational thought, but threatens to take away my most valued asset is simply too much for me. Still, I am slowly trying to desensitize myself to this fear, because not only is the zombie apocalypse coming, but I think it may already be here... I mean look at Congress.

If you want to talk about mindless, shambling, undead bags of flesh you need look no further than the government of the United States. (Whoa, this post is a political rant? That was a weird turnaround...) In their most recent move, Congress, in all its infant wisdom, has decided to postpone the critical discussion necessary to fixing the debt crisis in America until March, because (I guess) the problem you can't fix today, might as well be the problem you can't fix tomorrow, either. How is it that the most August body in the nation can't even sit down, like rational human beings, to solve a financial problem that is so critical to the continued success of the existence of the United States, (and if you are wondering why I capitalized "august," it is because come March, I am sure the only decision Congress will reach will be to postpone the decision till the last month of the summer.) I am really trying to not be political, but there comes a point where you just get fed up and all you want to do is rant to the six people who actually read your blog.

The 112th Congress, (the congress that just ended its session January 2, 2013,) only passed 219 pieces of legislation, and most that was to name public buildings. This may seem like a lot, but this is the lowest in American history.... Seriously, the next lowest year was during the Truman years and there they still managed to pass over 300 pieces of legislation. Heck even the Congress of the 1940's managed to pass on average 600 pieces of legislation a year, (and we were in a freaking WORLD WAR!) Our most current Congress, (which changed very little after the last election cycle) couldn't even pass a bill to approve aid to victims who lost their homes in Hurricane Sandy... You got to be kidding me? What excuse does this Congress have? NONE. They are polarized, indecisive, and more inept than a coked-up Archie trying to choose between Betty and Veronica, (and I am so irrationally mad that I just made an Archie's Comics reference... This what they are doing to me!!)

Perhaps for solace, I am rereading World War Z, by Max Brooks, also in anticipation for the coming movie, (because nothing screams Zombie Apocalypse like Brad Pitt, these days.) In it, Brooks gives an oral history of the Zombie War that nearly destroys humanity, and though I am not a zombie enthusiast I do enjoy this book for its presentation and writing style. However, this is also more than just a horror novel. The most ingenious part of the book is that Brooks uses the Zombie War to expose serious flaws in our global and national systems that would show how the zombie threat (or really an similar threat, such as a pandemic,) would easily infiltrate the cracks in our stagnant, politically polarized, and over-confident way of life. It has sharp criticism for America and our need for our bureaucratic moronicness, our politicians that are too busy bowing down to lunatic public opinion,, our comercialism, and our self-satisfying isolationism. (I don't mean isolationism like how we were before World War II, but the kind of isolationism you get from putting yourself on a pedestal above the rest of the world.) There are many themes which are incredibly and culturally relevant to America and the rest of world today. I highly recommend it.

Shamble Forward

I can only hope 2013 will be a better year for Congress and for America, though I doubt it. Both political parties have become too radical in their beliefs and entrenched in their ways, thus forcing me to retreat into a fantasy about the thing that scares me the most. So really... maybe I lied in my first paragraph, because in order to get away from the trouble of this wolrd I am escaping inot a world ravaged by the undead. Maybe there are things out there that terrify me more than zombies. You see, much Like Orson Welles used his broadcast of War of the Worlds to expose the inherent problems of America in the 1930's, Brooks does a very convincing job to show us a reflection of America that is completely ill-prepared to face and adapt to many of the emerging problems of the near future, and just maybe, that image we see staring back is the scariest thing of all.

Thirteen Resolutions for 2013

Side Resolution: Enjoy times with close friends.

Since the world did not end in 2012 that means I have to keep getting up everyday and figure out what the heck I am going to do with myself, (and after I spent all my savings on a fallout shelter that looked like the TARDIS... it was not bigger on the inside.) So with the New Year upon us, I have decided to buckle down and set some goals for myself...


 

13. Be a Better Blogger

Let's be honest, my blogging tends to be haphazard at best, chaotic at worst. There are some weeks where it is more likely for Mario to find the Princess in the castle he is actually looking for her in, than for me to write a blog entry. Also, (if you are a regular reader of my blog,) you might have noticed how often I actually edit my own posts... not often... I can offer no excuse and only the explanation that my free time can sometimes be very limited, but in 2013 I promise to do better. I say this not only for my behalf, but because I want all you lovely people to keep coming back to read my inane Internet ramblings.

12. Get Back to Exercising

I have one thing in common with King Hippo, (a lot of classic Nintendo references in this post), we have both grown a bit larger than you might expect. However, at least  King Hippo works out, which cannot be said about me, lately. I used to work out, but with the holidays and the craziness of the past month and a half it has been all intake and no propulsion. I need to get back to running and exercising... if not for my weight, than in anticipation for the big fight with Nick Bruiser.

11. Reach 1,000 Twitter Followers

This resolution is really only here as a shameless plug. If you like what you read on this weekly blog, than why not enjoy my own special brand of nerd witticism everyday by following me on Twitter @AdamJBrunner. Or on Facebook at Meta-Humanity.

10. Make More Top Ten Lists

Whenever I write top ten list for my blog, it usually tends to be a hit, often keeping a hard fought space in the Favorite Posts section on the left-hand side of the page. In 2013, I promise to jump start my creative juices to make not only more top ten lists, but even more enjoyable posts for you fine fine people... I don't have a video game reference for this one...

Side Resolution: Be yourself... or be Batman.

9. Read the Entire Song of Ice and Fire Series

I have currently finished the first two books of George R. R. martin's epic fantasy series, and am ready to move onto my third (like Kirby after devouring the souls of two children... ehh... I'm going to give up on the video game reference... sorry folk.) I love the series more than I can put into words, but I find myself in a conundrum, because I also love the HBO series. I am in the unenviable position of having to decide whether I want to read the next book before I see the next season, or vice versa. Either way, my reading will eventually outpace the show (as the show will eventually outpace George R. R. Martin, himself.) I just have to remember that there is value in both interpretations of the story and each should be enjoyed for what it is, not what it is not.

8. Finish My Novel

My first novel was a flop, though I may return to it someday and see if there isn't something I can't salvage, (double negative,) but my second novel is beyond exciting (for me.) I have never churned out something so fast that I have enjoyed so much. Usually there is a good deal of drudgery in all my writing projects, but so far it has been minimal in this one. With any luck I will have it finished before summer and edited before Fall. Fingers crossed, this is a big resolution.

7. Find an Awesome Cosplay Costume

Aside from witty t-shirts I have never really partaken in cosplay, but I definitely want to. My friends and I have a whole ten months before the 2013 New York Comic Con, (October 10-13,) and with any luck we can put that time to good use coming up with killer costumes, which will not only get us noticed but will get us featured on random people's Facebook pages.

6. Play More Video Games

This may seem like an out of place resolution, but really all I am trying to say is that I deserve more me time. Lately, whenever I get an hour to myself I tend to think I should spend it working on writing or creating or blogging, and though those are all worthwhile goals, I really need more time for myself. There are so many video game titles out that I want to play. I have barely cracked the surface of them. For Christmas I received Assassins' Creed II and Batman: Arkham City, and gosh-darnit, I intend to play them all the way through (including all the Easter Egg content) and not feel guilty about wasting the hours away.

5. Expand my Nerd Circle

Aside from my small group of nerd friends, I really don't have a lot of nerdiness in my life. I actually have a lot of non-nerd friends (normies,) and other adult-like responsibilities that are both boring and... well boring. I need more nerd friends in my life. So this year I am going to endeavor to start finding geeky activity groups and maybe even expand my circle as well as my interests. At the very least I want to find at least one role playing group in my area that meets semi-regularly.

Side Resolution: Save at least one princess this year.

4. Have an Adventure

Two years ago I quite my job, cashed out my savings, and headed off to Australia. (If you would like to read about those adventures please click on this website.) I lived Down Under for a little less than a year and in my time there, life was one big adventure. I traveled, I met new people, I forced myself into situations I would not normally have been comfortable in, etc. Since my return, life has grown stagnant again, I need an adventure. Now I'm not talking about running away for another year (I don't have near enough money for that,) but I am talking about finding that sense of adventure in my own life. There are plenty of new places to explore in my own backyard. Adventure is blowing the Horn of Helm Hammerhand, and I plan on answering.

3. Gain Superpowers

Why is that whenever anyone in the comics is bit by an insect or doused in radioactive waste they gain superpowers, and all I ever get is a bad rash? If there is such a thing as superpowers out there, in 2013, I am resolved to find them and use them for the good of all mankind... or for picking up chicks. I still haven't decided.

2. Beat All Eight Robot Masters

I have always enjoyed the game of Mega Man, but for the life of me I can never seem to find the skill, patience, or time to beat all 8 robot masters. So to go along with my 6th resolution this, I also promise to beat all the Robot Masters and finally lay my eyes on the end screen to at least one Mega Man game. (Shove it in your pie-hole, Pirate Man... Okay, that was the last Nintendo reference...)

1. Stop Taking Myself Too Seriously

As a person who writes a nerd blog, you might wonder how I could ever take myself too seriously, but it is true, I do. So without revealing too much of my personal angst, let's just say that I am my own worst critic. In 2013, I want to change that. I want to start seeing the lighter side of life and to stop always getting in my own way or disappointing myself. I want to take life as it comes and have fun without necessarily worrying about what the future holds. Because, really when you look at the state of the world, I think that this a resolution we could all learn to embrace a bit more. Maybe if Congress and others learned how to step back and laugh at their own ridiculousness, the world would not be in a much better state of affairs... At the very least thy would come up with funnier names than Fiscal Cliff, (like, Edge of Eternal Damnation and Ruin.) 

Oh Mayan

"With the death of Dick Clark this world will never again
see another Rockin' New Year!"

This Friday is December 21, 2012, and for anyone who still celebrates the Mayan New Year, or if you just have an Internet connection, you know that on December 21st the Mayan calendar will click over, ending the current b'ak'tun, which is approximately 394 years, and end the Great Cycle of 13 b'ak'tuns. Now people on the world wide web, Ronald Emmerich, and the people at the History Channel (sigh) have been holding up December 21, 2012 as a day of doom and disaster. It has become a date of much anticipation and fear, when the world is suppose to end, at least according to some people (but not necessarily the Maya).

There has been a lot of hype over this idea and a lot of pseudo-scientists claiming that everything from black holes, to solar activity, to a complete and rapid reversal of the Earth's magnetic sphere will be the culprit of our downfall. According to some beliefs, the Sun will align with the galactic equator of the galaxy and somehow the interaction between the black hole in the center of the Milky Way and our sun will mark the beginning of a cataclysmic event. To back this up, believers often put forth the prophetic powers of the Mayan calendar, claiming that the calendar is as much about prophecy as it is about keeping time. Examples given are the fact that the Maya supposedly predicted not only the arrival of the Spanish in 1519, but the collapse of their own society.

Uh... That's a pretty crappy prediction, because if there was someone in Mayan society who knew that the arrival of Cortes and his men heralded the end of the Maya themselves, why didn't they do something about it? Why wasn't Cortes and his men met with thousands of armed warriors? Instead the Spanish were invited willingly into the palace of Montezuma... and everything kind of went downhill for the Maya after that.

You see the entire "doomsday thing" is all based on a lot of faulty assumptions. First, is that the Long Count Calendar was made by the Maya, when in fact it was probably created by their predecessors, the Olmec. (Like that guy on Legends of the Hidden Temple... Kirk Fogg, I think his name was.) Second, that the turning over of the Mayan Calendar, which marks the end of the 13th b'ak'tun, also marks the end of our current age and the cycle of the world will start again. (sigh) Though the Mayans believed in cyclical time, it was only in the 260 day tzolk'in calendar that such a belief was truly prevalent. The Long Count Calendar is actually not cyclical at all. In fact, the b'ak'tun is not the highest the calendar can go. 20 K'atuns (roughly 20 years) makes a b'ak'tun (394 years), but 20 b'ak'tuns makes a piktun (7,885 years), 20 piktuns makes a kalabtun (157,704 years), 20 kalabtuns makes a k'inchiltun (3,154,071 years), and finally 20 k'inchiltuns makes an alautun (63,081,429 years.) The Maya did not even believe that their calendar was going to end on December 21, 2012.

On December 21, 2012 when you are running for your life
from that 50-foot tidal wave, make sure your are running
in comfort and style. It's what the Maya would have wanted.

This whole 12/21/12 doomsday is a modern interpretation. In the late 1990's Michael D. Coe, anthropologist, author, and real-life Indiana Jones wrote, "There is a suggestion ... that Armageddon would overtake the degenerate peoples of the world and all creation on the final day of the 13th [b'ak'tun]. Thus ... our present universe [would] be annihilated [in December of 2012] when the Great Cycle of the Long Count reaches completion." He only said it was a suggestion. It was one obscure and interesting thought written in a book on archeology that probably only .05% of the population has ever read, yet from that simple statement craziness has ensued. It is true that the Maya see us as living in the Fourth Age of humanity, and that the previous Third Age only lasted 13 b'ak'tuns, (according to their beliefs.) However, that does not mean they believed that this age would end after only one Great Cycle. That would have been like expecting Major League Baseball to collapse after someone beat Babe Ruth's home run record. The Maya fully acknowledge that the previous three cycles were failures and the current one is not. E. Wyllys Andrews V, director of the Tulane University Middle American Research Institute has stated, "The ancient Maya predicted the world would continue – that 7,000 years from now, things would be exactly like this. We keep looking for endings. The Maya were looking for a guarantee that nothing would change. It's an entirely different mindset." So really, even to the Maya, (you know if they had survived the conquistadors and small pox,) December 21, 2012 really would have been nothing more than an excuse to throw the biggest party of all parties. They would have partied like it was 12.9.9.9.9. The world isn't ending, all it means is that we are going to beat the previous record set by the Third Age... Suck it Third Agers... My guess is that it was an age populated by jerk-faced people.

As for the rest of it, Earth is not going become irrevocably irradiated by crossing the galactic equator. (sigh) In fact, we cross the galactic equator twice a year... every year. So on December 21, 2012 (like every Winter and Summer Solstice) the Sun will appear to rise in the center of the Milky Way, (That big cluster of stars on the sky that I can't actually see, because I live near New York City,) but in terms of precision the sun, earth, and galactic center are still not perfectly aligned. In fact, the alignment was more precise on the Winter Solstice of 1998 than it will be in 2012. Also true, is the fact that solar flares and activity will peak in 2012, because the Sun's magnetic field is going through a rapid pole reversal... but that happens every 7 to 10 years or so. It's only coincidence that the peak of solar activity is happening this year. Combine all this with global warming, and the crazy heart-breaking disasters that have taken place over the past few years (like the most recent and tragic loss of life,) and people start to get a little nervous, but it's more than that too.

This was their Christmas card... "Are you my mummy?"

A lot of the problems come from the human need to connect the dots. My own beliefs in God and an intelligent universal design aside, human beings like things that we can make sense out of, including our own existence. In a weird sort of way, believing that we are looking at a predicted end of the world is one of the ways how we try to justify the significance of our own existence. We want to believe that there are forces out there greater than ourselves, even if that means believing in our own demise. We want to see patterns in our world that tell us we are not alone or that in some crazy way everything has a purpose. It is how we make sense of the universe around us, because even more than our own destruction, we are even more frightened by the idea that we may just be insignificant creatures floating on a blue orb in the lonely blackness of space. Yet, even if that is true, why does it mean that we have to subscribe ourselves to the an existences of insignificance?

Human beings are, (now more than ever,) the masters of our universe. We have screwed a lot of things up, but we have the potential to not only correct those problems, but improve the world for the better. I truly believe that every challenge we face can be overcome and that every difficulty can be solved. We just need to start believing that we can do it. After all, if the Maya truly did believe that 2012 would mark the beginning of some new age for mankind, then there is no reason why we can't make it a positive change. Many New Agers believe that this is what will in fact happen on 12/21/12, like suddenly we will all shoot out of out beds and be like "I get it!" Then the world will become eco-friendly, technologically savvy, all the guns will be melted down, all the wars will stop, and herds of puppies will roam the streets offering free hugs to everyone they meet. Personally, I don't for a second believe that this will happen, (mostly because everyone knows hugs are never free... there is always a catch. I mean even puppies have to eat,) but there is no reason why we can't make this kind of world a reality if we try.

If we are to take anything from all this 2012 craziness, maybe it should be a reminder of what's worthwhile. So how about on December 2st, instead of huddling in a bunker or praying for somekind of spirtual reawakening, you get in the morning, hug your kids and your loved ones, appreciate what it truly important in your life, and go out and do something to make your world a better place. If we were all to do that then, maybe in the next "Great Cycle" we coulda ctually see a rise in green technology, the end of global warming, moon colonies and Mars bases, and who knows what else, but I can tell you one thing... It's not going to be magical or automatic. We need to work for it. We can put an end to the strife, the hunger, and the disease of our planet, but the process won't happen in one night like some crazy worldwide Christmas Carol. So, instead of feeling foolish on December 22nd go out and be the change you want to see in this world, because sometimes the best prophecies are the self-fulfilled ones.


 

10/14/12

I have no words left to express what has happened. My heart goes out to all the families of the victims and everyone else who has been affected by these tragic events. You are not alone.

Resistance is Futile

Side Prediction: You're won't be able to
understand your grandchildren's life choices.

In my last installment of my ongoing series about the future, I talked about what technology would do to the economy once it started reaching Picard-like levels. Basically it would destroy it and leave us all in a state of unending material wealth that we will no longer value. This could also greatly increase the depression rates in adults as life continues to lose meaning and permanency, but that's a bridge we'll cross when we get to it. Let's talk about scarier things, shall we?

Our economy will not be the only thing that sees a rise in technology. Humanity itself will continue to become more and more technological. Yes, I am talking about cyborgs, but not in the way you are thinking. Let me explain.

 

 

 

PREDICTION 2. TECHNOLOGY AND HUMANITY

Currently, I am writing a new novel set in the future and I have been doing a lot of research into what the world will look like in 50 and 100 years. What will humanity look like? And I can tell you some of the predictions and ideas out there are staggering, if not down right freaky. Obviously I can only take the predictions I read with a grain of salt (as I am sure you do with my own predictions,) but there are at least a few basic things I think we can agree upon.

First off, at this point in our understanding of technology and ourselves we must take it as an accepted fact that, (and unlike what was said by the predictions about the future from the early 20th century,) technology will not continue to become bigger and more obtrusive. Instead, the trend of technology is to shrink and become less apparent in everyday life, even while increasing its effectiveness and impact for humans. This means, things like light bulbs will disappear and illumination will be handled by the walls themselves. Laptop computers will be replaced by touchscreen pads, which themselves will be replaced by even smaller and unnoticeable portable tech. After all why do you have to carry something when you can wear glasses that will act as a computer screen and mouse movements that will be tracked by your eyeball... but why stop there?

Side Prediction: In about 8 minutes this woman is going to
be struck by a car while watching The View.

If we are miniaturizing technology enough to put it in a frame of glasses, why not go one step further and put it in a contact lens... and why stop there? If we are putting computers in our eyes, why not just take the final leap and actually give us a technological eyeball? Not only will it be able to project digital screens (literally) right before our eyes, but I'm sure we can make some tweaks to the concept of what are natural eyes are. We can make eyes that see further and sharper than any natural human can. We could even make an artificial eye that changes color based upon the whim of the user. Maybe today you are feeling like having green eyes and tomorrow purple... but why stop there? After all, if I'm watching my favorite Simpson's episode (a show that will still be making new episodes well into the 2050's,) I'll need to hear it too, so why not cochlear implants? You will be able to hear whatever you are digitally seeing, and why not throw in some Superman-like hearing powers while you're at it.

Where would the power come from? Simple. As much rubbish as The Matrix was, they did get one thing right, human beings are really nothing more than Duracell batteries. After many generations of technological growth I have no doubt that we will be able to utilize our own biometrics to power our new external and internal devices, and I am not just talking about the electrical field that our brains generate. I am also talking about the beating of our hearts, the movement of our feet, even our digestive system. they can all generate power in some form. If you wore a watch powered by your biometrics you would never need to wind it or replace the battery... because you are the battery. Yet, in this new world why even wear a watch when you can digitally project the time right in front of your eye with the blink of an eye or even a stray thought.

Here's the scary part folks. Really if you are going to put bio-implants in your eyes and ears... why stop there? Why not in your brains well? It's a much more effective way of controlling all the tech that will become part of your every waking (and maybe even dreaming) second. Also, (while your up there you might as well get the full tune-up and detailing job, because) with computers in our brains there's no reason why we can't get smarter. I am not talking about knowledge, but the ability to learn and reason. We can increase our cognitive abilities, our hand/eye coordination, our memory recall, and almost any center of the brain you might be able to think of... Yes, even the parts that control your dirty little minds. I told you this could get downright freaky.

This brings me to my second point I think we can agree upon, barring some catastrophic worldwide collapse or destruction, technology will always continue to improve, and if (as humans) we can do something (regardless of any moral misgivings) we usually will eventually wind up doing that thing. So despite our old fashioned 21st century misgivings, our grandchildren very well could become walking, talking, brain-texting machines that are as much technology as biology. I am not advocating morality on this point, one way or another. I am simply stating what I see as an inevitable fact of the future. I will leave the morality and the legislation of these new ideas to the people of the future, but seeing as how we are still having problems keeping up with the legal and moral needs of the Internet, I have my doubts that our old fashioned legal system will be able to cope with anything like this.

Side Prediction: In the future, the Roseville Elementary
Volleyball Team will be looking a tad more intimidating.

Yet, they will have to try, because with the growth of these new technologies will come a whole new set of problems. Facial recognition software, (which is already scary accurate on the damn iPhone) will only continue to improve. Couple that with our need to social network and you will have the ability to look at another human being with your optic-computer, and have that computer automatically search the Internet for that person. That means before you ever say anything to another human being you could already have opened up their Facebook, (or whatever they will have in the future, since Facebook maybe on the down slope) their dating profile, the forums they post on, their high school track records, etc. You'll be able to find out more about a person simply by looking at them then by having an hour-long conversation. How the hell is that going to change human interaction? I have no idea. Maybe it will make our conversations deeper and more substantive because smalltalk will be rendered obsolete... or maybe it will be a stalker's paradise... Who knows... but why stop there?

What will this do to professional sports? Lance Armstrong had his Tour De France victories stripped away because he was using something that stored more oxygen in his bloodstream than normal. In the future, I am sure that little feature will come standard on the basic package. We could also expect to see strength augmentation, muscular implants, greater lung capacity, and who knows what else. If a person from that future were to come back to our time, they would very much seem like a real-life superhero to us weaklings. So how does something like the NFL cope. In the beginning, I'm sure it will be easy enough to ban these technological humans from playing in the league, but if implants become the norm how can non-augmented, fully-biological athletes ever compete again? They can't, which means there will be an even bigger drive for physical enhancements. Heck, obsessive mothers and fathers already spend millions of dollars and years of their life trying to push their kids to be professional athletes, (and fulfill some unspoken desire left over from their days as a youth). This kind of technology has the potential to change everything. I mean what about law enforcement? Are all the police officers going to need implants as part of their jobs? If not how can they keep up with the new breed of (literal) super-villains they are going to face? (Then again, maybe police work will just be handled by robots.) What about soldiers? Do implants become standard issue for our men and women in uniform? What if your non-implanted child is bulled by a six-year old with the strength of an ox? Is that considered assault with a deadly weapon? There are just too many questions without answers... and why stop there?



Side Prediction: We're all going to have sweet
looking arm cannons.

Lastly, the one thing we can all agree upon is that no matter how mainstream something becomes there are always people out there who will push it further and abuse it, even past societal norms. That means, if humanity becomes augmented through invisible technology within our bodies, there will be those among us who may not want the technology to be so invisible. How many people are going to to extremes and chop off one of their hands, their arms, their legs, etc, so they can replace them with full robotic implants. It sounds like a bad science fiction, but is it really that far fetched? While we're riding this particular train to crazy town, let's go further still. Who says we even need to add technological human parts to our bodies? Why not a robotic shark fin, or a technology constructed tiger claw? Why not a prehensile tail? Why not feet with opposable thumbs? Why not four arms? Why not an implant that lets us change our skin color, or our hair color, or even the size of other (more private) body parts? Really the more you think about it the more it makes you realize how screwed up we can get, (if we wanted to.)

Scared? Well, there is also a flip side. Think on this: We could also use these implants and this technology to do other things. We can make our bodies resistant to disease, able to survive in extreme conditions, and maybe even to live longer. Do you want to live to be 150 years old... they might (one day) have an app for that. We need to face the good with the bad, because life is about change. We can't fight against it. All we can do is try to figure out what do with it when it arrives and how we shape ourselves and our views of the world to fit these new advances.

This lead me to my next installment: FUTURE LAW AND MORALITY. Now its time to get back in my time travelling telephone booth. Take care future-children, and stay radical.


 

Star Wars VII: A New Despair

"Alright Hayden, remember to make your acting as bland as
possible. I need someone to blame for this fiasco and you're
my fall guy. Good luck."

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Christopher Nolan wrote that line about Batman, but he might as well have been referring to his fellow director, George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, one of the most historic and important movie trilogies ever made. He is also the man who has been slowly destroying that trilogy for years now. It is like if the Egyptians built the great Pyramid at Giza, and then tore it down to slowly sell off each brick for fame and profit, but Lucas being a sell-out is nothing new, (just as Jar Jar Binks.)

 

Georgey Boy has been slowly stripping away the dignity of Star Wars for years, and though I can't agree with a lot of the decisions he made, at least he was the one who created the whole blasted thing and you had to at least respect him for that. It's kind of like how you give props to God for making the world, but then he goes and makes things like leukemia, AIDS, and Justin Beiber. Those are some pretty asshole decisions, but I mean it is God's world, just because I don't always agree with the decisions he makes, he probably has the right to make them. Unfortunately, unlike God, Lucas does not work in mysterious ways. We can all pretty much understand what is motivating him. (I'll give you a hint, its small, green, powerful, and not Yoda.)

 

Now Star Wars fans must suffer another indignity, (as if we haven't suffered enough,) Lucasfilm has sold everything, (lock, stock, and lightsaber) to Disney. This has set off a bevy of panic alarms in the nerd community and even more clever photoshop picture mashups. For the most part I would probably try to urge people to keep a rational head about everything, except I can't. Following on the heels of this first shocking announcement came the next shocker, they are in the planning stages for Star Wars Episode VII! I don't want to understate it here, but this is the worse idea I have heard since that Devronian tried to sell me timeshare property in the Alderaan system.

 

Welcome to Hell

First, this movie will be a Disney movie. (If I see that damn castle appear before the opening scroll I am walking out.) I can say with some certainty that the movie will about the children of the Solos and Skywalkers, which is alarming enough, but it also means Disney gets to pick a young cast to star in the movie. Call me crazy, but I am not too keen to see the Jonas brothers, and Selena Gomez in the Star Wars universe, and God only knows who they'll cast if they can't get Hamill, Fisher, and Ford to come back (Billy Dee Williams will come back... he always comes back.)

 

Secondly, I know that the Expanded Universe may not come into consideration for many people, but for a person who so admires the strict canonicity of Star Wars, this new movie is a concern of mine. Before the prequel there had never been much done in the books and comics as far as the Clone Wars Era, as if everyone could sense that was a playground nobody wanted to visit. So it was left alone by authors and a bulk of the EU was focused on the very distant past and the time following the events of the movies. Yet, even when Lucas finally decided to go ahead with the prequel he still gave no regard for the canon, and managed to irreparably damage more than a few key plot points that had repercussions throughout the universe. Since then, they have been retconned and corrected, but now if they make a movie set firmly in a time period that has been so fervently written about there is a potential for catastrophic failure. It will be like an elephant trying to find an apartment in a house of cards, it may all come tumbling down. If that happens Disney runs the risk of turning their new Star Wars franchise into their Narnia franchise... a thing of mediocrity... and even outright disdain by some.

 

The Solo children praying that
they won't be played by the
cast of Hannah Montana.

Thirdly, they may have a problem even if they stick to the canon for the movie. 2013 will mark thirty years since the release of Return of the Jedi. I did some research and thirty years after the Battle of Endor, the events of the Dark Nest Crisis take place. Even by Star Wars standards that event is a bit obscure, so it is more likely that the movie will focus on the later events of the Darth Caedus saga... This is a problem. One, it immediately paints my favorite EU character (Jacen Solo) as a villain. Also, the story is so convoluted I have no idea how even a decent writer will be able to pull anything of use from the multi-book story arc of bantha fodder. Lastly, at this point in time, the Star Wars universe has become so vastly different  from what casual movie-watching fans know it to be, that almost certainly key things and events in the universe will have to be changed to "dumb-it-down." Yet, even though there are far better book trilogies out there to use, (like Kevin J. Anderson's Jedi Academy trilogy,) they will be impossible to make because the principal actors are way too old to play the parts required of them. (I mean just look at Harrison Ford.) 

 

So once again this sale and this decision shows that Lucas cares little for his established fans and only about the money in his wallet. It is a disappointing move from a man who started his career making an artsy-hippie film that contained not a single living person in it. Georgey Boy lost his way. A long time ago, he made movies that had action figures made after them. Now he makes action figures and tries to figure out how to base a movie on them. Phantom Menace was like the old GI Joe cartoon where it was just one big commercial aimed at kids... except the GI Joe cartoons were entertaining. George, I can only imagine how tiresome it must get for you to listen to all the complaints and suggestions of die-hard fans, but sometimes, just because they are annoying, does not necessarily mean they are wrong. I mean you insisted on writing the prequel movies despite the fact that Lucasfilm has access to a pool of incredibly talented and Star Wars savvy writers who, anyone could see, were more talented and better prepared for taking on the task.

 

Now that Lucas has sold the whole thing to Disney (The Richest Place on Earth) I can only foresee this downward trend continuing. This whole thing is enough to make a nerd like me lose hope. It's almost like an evil faceless Empire (ruled by an old powerfulf man, and a creature dressed mostly in black with a weird voice,) is trying to take away all the freedom and prosperity of the Star Wars Galaxy and keep it for themselves. If only there was some way to rebel against it, maybe even find a convenient weakness in their sphere-shaped super weapon. There isn't, a lesson Lucas himself taught us. The original trilogy may have shown us how to fight for good and rebel against evil, but his latest installment showed us the true meaning of Star Wars... There is no resisting the Dark Side, especially when there are billions of dollars to be made.

 

Georgey Boy sold Lucasfilm for roughly four billion dollars. Admittedly, he says he will be donating the bulk of that to charity. Hey George, I have a kickstarter charity you can give all your money to if you're in the market. It's going to be called Preserve Star Wars for the Fans project, because whatever has been sold to Disney can be bought from Disney. My goal is about 6 billion... Care to Donate?