Phantom Menace Syndrome

Phantom Menace Syndrome: Symptoms include: soreness,
redness, irritable geek movements, product placement,
directile dysfunction, age-inappropriate characters, weakness
in the plot, induced vomiting, commercial tie-ins, and
George Lucas.

Over the weekend I got out to see The Avengers and I was not disappointed, but I was surprised. I was not surprised so much by the movie itself, (as Joss Whedon hit the nail on the head and made this movie everything it should be and more,) but I was surprised that I was not surprised... maybe I need to explain this better.

I have come to understand the existence of an affliction I call Phantom Menace Syndrome (PMS). It is the illness of the body that causes a person to become irrevocably and unreasonably excited about an upcoming form of media (usually movies, but can also be applied to books, TV shows, music, and video games... though for video games it may be more appropriate to call it Galaxies Syndrome.) It is not to be confused with Battleship Syndrome, which is when something that is released is as disappointing as you expected it to be, if not worse. Nor should that be confused with Snakes on a Plane Sickness (which is so bad it gets its own disease named after it.)

PMS is when the hype of a film cannot stand up to the horrifying fact of the product and though some of the creations of George Lucas epitomize the disease they are not the only culprits. Movies such as Spider-Man III, Superman Returns, Matrix Revolutions, and (anything but the first) Pirates of the Caribbean, have all caused us to suffer from this incurable affliction. Even the youngest among us are not immune from the suffering with movies like Cars 2 being put out (though I truthfully never expected much in the way of serious plot progression from a movie based on a sport where all you do is drive in a circle for six hours.)

Perhaps those who suffer most from this horrible disease are the good movies. Movies like Dark Knight or The Avengers. These are the movies which I find more and more I cannot let myself get too excited over for fear of suffering from PMS. It is not that I will refuse to see them it is just that I will enter into theaters with a wall around my heart and a healthy dose of doubt, and that's not fair. I want to be irrationally excited over movies which so epitomize the things in life I love the most, (Family and friends?... no...) comics and fantasy. I want to geek-out and dress up and obsesses over every bit of a movie franchise as the release date for that newest anticipated movie grows ever closer, but I have been burned too often in the past. Most recently, I allowed myself to relapse with the release of Green Lantern. Mind you, it was not a bad movie, just a forgettable one.

Sometimes even the healthiest of franchises can succumb
suddenly and irrevocably to PMS.

Too often (especially with comic movies) production companies become too caught up in the action to remember the ethos of a story. Movies about superheroes especially are movies about modern myth and should be treated with the appropriate weight and seriousness that such myth deserves. (Though to be fair they also made a mockery of Clash of the Titans, and you have wonder how hard it is to screw up a remake of a movie that originally featured a claymation mechanical owl.) Even with the release of the upcoming Dark Knight Rises I still find myself overly skeptical that Chris Nolan can pull another masterpiece out of his hat, and like any trilogy the third movie is in some ways the most important. Too often with franchises like Spider-Man and X-Men, terrible third movies will not only ruin a franchise but completely invalidate the great movies that came before it, which sucks because by the time the third movie comes out I already own the other two DVD's, so I really have no choice. I have to get the third to complete the collection.

The real fear with the new Batman movie is that it has a lot in common with the Spider-Man and X-Men franchises. All were directed by lauded directors who proved themselves in the tellings of their first two movies. All three franchises peaked with their second movies. Spider-Man II  was the best movie of the trilogy, as was X-Men II. The Dark Knight of course was a masterpiece of cinema, storytelling, and acting, but that only raises more concerns. How can any movie follow Dark Knight let alone top it? I suppose only time will tell. As for me I am doing my best not to succumb to PMS. All I can do is hope for a Dark Knight but prepare for a Terminator: Salvation.

At least The Avengers did not fail to disappoint. Joss Whedon deserves a lot of praise and thanks for his work on this culminating piece of movie magic that we have been waiting for since Nick Furry stepped from the shadows at the end of Iron Man in 2008. So far (at least as the Avenger titles go) Marvel has not failed us yet, but this latest installment was not the end. The last scene of The Avengers offered a tantalizing new look at what was to come. So as we begin this second chapter in the franchise's history we can only wonder if the quality of storytelling will continue to improve or if the franchise will be brought to the Jar Jar Brink of Disaster. I suppose only time will tell, but as for me I find that I am looking ahead with cautious optimism and an open-mind. After all, PMS is as much a mental disease as anything else. So just because PMS can sometimes cause physical discomfort like, fatigue, loss of sleep, and swelling in our breasts we must also remember that it is not a strictly physical disease. In fact, the affliction can be brought about by our own infalted expectations and exaggerated ideas about what a movie should and should not be. This like (most things) can be easily solved by keeping an open mind. Sometimes a movie can surprise you if given a chance... except for an Adam Warlock movie, that will never work.