Pond of Consciousness: Flying

Why am I doing another stream of consciousness blog? Aren't my posts random enough as it is... If you use the words, "emotional roller coaster," I am O.U.T... Deal I just feel like I am on this emotional... ride... Why am I even typing this again? I'm on cramped airplane, the laptop is half closed and my arms are shoved all the way into my chest like some stinted tyrannosaurus rex stuck in economy class… Tyranosaurus… I should have some kind of witty pun there. I’ll think of it later. I need to figure out how to disable this touchpad/mouse thingy. The cursor is jumping all over the page. What is that kid doing, marching up and down the aisle like a wooden soldier… toy solider... I'm a real boy... Where are his parents? Here comes the old woman and the inevitable meeting of the immature object verses the unstoppable (I need to go to the bathroom) force…. There should be another joke there. I’ll add it later… Tyrannosaurus Rex… Lex… Dex… Hex… Treks… None of those work… Is it kosher to be writing the jokes in my head as I am actually writing a story about my thoughts… This is getting a little too existential… Why did I use the word kosher? I’m not Jewish… What movie is playing? What’s that guy’s name? Leonidas? Burt? Why is he playing soccer with kids? This is the weirdest remake of 300 I have ever seen. Is that what’s his name? Why can‘t I remember anyone’s… Kurt Russell… no Dennis Quiad? I didn’t know he/they were in 300? Flashover… no Backdraft was a decent film. Why can’t I remember anything today. I feel so slow.. Maybe it's the altitude. From the looks of desolation and Amish we’re somewhere over Pennsylvania. Ouch… Watch it lady. Say excuse me. I never know if I like the aisle better or the window… Die-rannosaurus Rex… that doesn’t even make any sense in the context of the joke…. These are not the jokes you're looking for... Oh good, here comes the complimentary drinks and food. Yes can I have the one peanut and the small glass of water? Cthulhu forbid they gave you actual food on a six-hour flight that made us wait an hour and a half past boarding for take-off… Jessica Biel is in this movie? Gerard Butler… that’s it. This is Sparta… I am starving. I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast. Wasn’t it Dennis Quiad who played General Hawk in that damn awful GI Joe movie? What part of my childhood will Hollywood ruin next? Is Michael Bay still trying to make a teenage mutant... Of course he is. Why the hell are they aliens… Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles? Does he even know that spells TANT? Teenage Alien Intelligent Ninja Turtles... Are there even ninjas on another planet, or teenagers… or turtles… I'm sure there will be explosions… Is that Amy Acker. I love her... So What are you wearing... Blue overcoat. Fedora... You really stink at this... Orange Socks?... Angel was a good show.... They’ll probably try to make a remake of Ghostbusters with Justin Beiber playing all the parts… that was a horrible joke.... They'll probably try to make a remake of Ghostbusters with Bruce Willis... he was dead the whole time... What’s wrong with me today… A tyrannosaurus rex and a nun walk into a bar… something something… He was Catholic all along… That’s Uma Thurman… I guess she is playing the Persian king, Xerxes, in this version. She has the build for it….. Coke… Pepsi’s fine… Really, what’s the difference… How about giving me one of those sandwiches…. No for free. You left us waiting on the runway for two hours. Mardok forbid there is actually a company out there that wants to keep its customers happy or takes any sort of responsibility for their mistakes… I would have loyalty to a company like that. Fly United… because why not? We’re just as much of dicks as everyone else… except Air New Zealand. They were very nice that one time… Oh gods, that kid is crying now… Wah wah wah my ears are popping and there's no way to console me Wah! Maybe I'm teething, Maybe I'm hungry, who knows? I'm a baby!… No give me the blue chips… THIS IS the most Spartan meal I've ever had... So I guess Jessica Biel is the hunchback in this one... No don’t kiss her, Leonidas. She’s going to sell you out to the Persians!... Why are chips blue? Who thought that was a good idea? Who looked at potato chips and went… you know what will make this better… the color blue. I think that’s the same logic they use with… cars… M&Ms… t-shirts…. Annoying late 90’s pop songs… I'm really off on the jokes today. I’ll just add them in later during editing. A tyrannosaurus rex and Sam Waterson get into a fight… No, Sam Waterson is Jack McCoy on Law and Order… what was the name of the guy who played Dr. Grant? Also how did that T-Rex get into the Jurassic Park visitor center without anyone noticing? Were the doors made conveniently for tyrannosaurus proportions? And did anyone work there? I knew they were on a skeleton crew, but a few more people working security might have made it a very short movie. The only tech guys were Samuel L. Jackson and Newman… Hello Newman… You would have thought that with an experimental facility they would have brought on a few more staff, just to be one the safe side… or at least ran background checks on their employees. I wonder if the US Government had to bail out InGen after they lost all their money on the dinosaur tourist industry Whoa… this movie just got saucy… Run, Leonidas, she is trying to eat your face… Like a T-Rex that's too big to fail... and it all comes full circle. I’m a genius. Now Kurt Russell/Dennis Quaid is in jail…. This is just confusing. Are they arresting him for the GI Joe movie… they should… He deserves it… How can you make a movie that was even cornier than the old cartoon show and I loved the old cartoon show. Seriously. They kept everything they shouldn’t have and took away everything they should have. Don’t worry, I'm sure The Rock and Bruce Willis will save us from the giant Texas sized asteroid of suckage that movie was. All we need now is Areosmith... Turns out he was dead the whole time... and I mean that about Steven Tyler... Adolescent Extraterrestrial Samurai Turtles... AEST… sounds like a standardized assessment test designed to check for asbestos… What if Michael Bay remade Jurassic Park… Exploding dinosaurs, for no reason… They know how to open doors and set C4 charges… Clever girl... My arms are shoved so far into my stomach that I feel like a tyrannosaurus rex in economy class… business class... trying to play pool... That’s not funny… Oh blue chips?