Colombia (The One with an "O")

I find myself sitting here on the plane as the world falls away below me. I watch as we rise through the cloud cover to sore above the mountains and valleys of white cotton, as if entering a dream world, or is this the real world and the place I left far below me, the dream? Sometimes it feels like that, even now as I reflect back, my past few whirlwind days feel surreal, my days in Colombia.

Colombia is a like painting full of beautiful vistas.

I have always had a small penchant for travel as anyone who has read my other blog might attest, but there was something different about the days I spent in my first South American country. I was invited there for a wedding, between my friends Tony and Lina, the Aussie and Colombian who took me in while I floundered to find my feet in Australia. It had been a few years since I had seen them and the wedding seemed like a great excuse to do so again and visit an area of the world I had yet to tread. My arrival was smooth as I took a morning flight out of LaGuardia and made a connection through Fort Lauderdale and finally onto Bogota, Colombia. Tony met me at the airport with Lina’s mom, Carmen, a wonderful woman who even though we did not speak the same language was still able to convey her natural warmth and caring nature. That night it was dinner at her house, where I was reunited with Tony’ parents and met Lina’s bothers, sister, and grandmother, (all wonderful people.) I also met two other wayward travelers such as myself, friends of Lina’s, and fellow North Americans, a Canadian and a Mexican national. Dinner was soup, which was particularly good. It was a mix of potato and chicken soup, and just the thing I needed after a long flight.

My adventure truly began the next day as I volunteered to drive one of the three cars that would transport us about four hours north to Villa de Leyva, the small historic and picturesque village where the wedding would take place. I learned many things in those long four hours of driving. First off, I will never complain about New York traffic again. I also learned that Colombian traffic laws are really more or less suggestions to be followed or ignored as one saw fit. Thankfully, I was following Lina’s mother who was an excellent driver, so we stayed pretty safe as I transported myself and my fellow North Americans through the jam packed streets of Bogota and the winding mountainous roads of Colombia. We made it with little incident, other than the rain, (but it seems to rain frequently in Colombia.)

Also, my hotel had a painting of Mary Jane's *ahem* full vistas.

The views, however, were beyond compare. The entire country seemed like it was composed of mountains and valleys that seem more like paintings than actual physical vistas. Even the rain clouds often broke apart to send shafts of light to glitter among the beautiful terrain. The stunning sights did not end at the village either. Villa de Leyva is a town that seems unchanged from its founding in the 1800’s. Cobble stone roads, small shops, simple lives, and a Spanish-inspired town square crowned with an amazing church were all situated on the low slope of a mountain, giving the town's residents and visitors spectacular views of the countryside. The peaceful beauty of the place hit me as we sat for dinner to eat my slice of pizza (It wasn’t a New York slice, but what really is?) Yet, pizza was not the highlight of the my food experience in Colombia.

In fact even now, I am still so full that it is hard to think of ever eating again. Food in Colombia seems to consist mostly of mounds of meat and potatoes, (two personal favorites.) There were sausages, lamb ribs, beef, chicken, and even more than I have a name for. My favorite food was the arepa. Each place makes it a little different, but essentially it is like a piece of cornbread stuffed with cheese. I practically swallowed them whole whenever they were served, and they were served quite often. There was an almost constant stream of food, especially at the wedding. Seven different small courses ranging from empanadas to vegetables and fruits (most of which I had never heard of before,) and of course meat. Juice drinks in Colombia are basically fruit smoothies with milk or water. I consumed them liberally.

However, what would an adventure be without a little harrowing danger and I found plenty of that as well. On the day of the wedding the girls went to get their hair done, (at a steal of roughly 15 US dollars apiece.) Lina’s family and Tony’s family were the first to arrive and loaded up in their cars to make the five-minute journey back to the highway to go to the wedding location, a beautiful ranch situated in a green idealc valley. My two passengers were the last to arrive. I was already dressed and we loaded up our car before heading out to follow the others. The wedding was located down a dirt path, marked with nothing but a small wooden sign, easy to miss, and we did. So I had to turn us around. An upcoming driveway gave me the perfect opportunity. I made a brief check to see if anyone was coming ahead of me and I signaled to make the left before doing so.

The next sound I heard was a scream and then the screeching of tires. A car had come up behind us and as I signaled to turn, the driver thought it a good time to try and pass me on the left, the same direction I was turning. We collided. Thankfully, everyone was okay, but I had a new problem. Two damaged cars and no way to communicate with the other driver. My new Mexican friend was able to explain to the other man what happened. He wanted to call the police, but the obvious problem was that I was not driving a car registered under my name. So my two passengers took off at a run toward the wedding (which was over 2 kilometers away) to bring help, leaving me alone with a portly Colombian who kept looking at me as one would look at a fish in a fishbowl, an oddity. In that moment I wished more than anything that I had studied my DuoLingo program harder. My Spanish and frantic hand gesturing were hardly up to the task. To make matters worse in the confusion and stress of the situation I went to sit down and split the back of my only suit pants, almost from belt to crotch.

Tragic results of my inability to drive in South America.

Next the police arrived and I was faced with another man who I could only barely communicate with, except this one was in a uniform and wearing a visible weapon. However, I cannot speak to ill of him, for he saw how stressed I was and did his best to help clam me down. We spent the next fifteen agonizing minutes trying to communicate. I gave me him my US license and the insurance information for the car I found in the glove compartment. Of course he picked out almost immediately how my name did not match the name of the owner of the car. I did my best to try and explain that I had not stolen it, but I could not shake the image of me locked away in a foreign country. (My only hope was that they served arepas in Colombian prison.) Finally, a small black car crested the hill and pulled up alongside me. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. My two passengers exited along with two of Lina’s uncles, one of which, Daniel, was a lawyer. They quickly straightened out the one-sided story that the other man had told the police officer. He claimed that I never signaled, but with myself and my two passengers emphatically saying that I did he seemed out of luck. It was also noted that there was a very prominent and clear “no passing” sign posted not ten feet from where we crashed. So after an exchanging of words, (and an exchanging of a couple hundred thousand pesos,) the man went on his way, and I got in the car with Uncle Daniel. The mess seemed sorted out.

However, my dear reader, if you know me, you know my own personal guilt was not so easy to assuage. I offered probably two dozen times to pay for the damage and the bribe that so neatly fixed the situation. Uncle Daniel and everyone else refused, simply saying that Colombian Insurance was the best and it was for reasons like this that it existed. Apparently such minor accidents are fairly common place, but I still felt responsible. However, there was one small bright spot, the wedding had been delayed, not for our sakes but due to other matters. So we made it on time, which was good because it turned out we also had the flowers and the main candle for the ceremony in the car.

Releasing balloons after the ceremony.

The ceremony was beautiful with Tony and Lina uniting together in words and through a ceremony of light which involved the aforementioned candle. We even released balloons, and as I watched the pink, red, and white symbols float away I think I finally started to relax. The story of my adventure spread quickly through the wedding with most people coming over to laugh with me about it, and tell me how it was “no real problem.” Uncle Daniel was especially kind and as the formal wedding wound down the night turned into one of drinking and dancing. Daniel, was especially keen to share a bottle of whiskey with me, making sure my glass never stayed empty for long. He did not speak a word of English and my Spanish was only passable at best, yet through the haze of alcohol and mistranslation we managed to have quite an in-depth and lively conversation. I enjoyed his company, and we talked about the differences between Colombia and America, how beautiful his country was, and even our occupations. We were the last ones to go sleep, and as he stumbled toward his bunkhouse, I tried to do the same. Unfortunately, I got a little lost in the darkness, and my suitcase was still in the damaged car, which I no longer had keys to open. Also, I had never seen the cabin I was staying in before, so instead of risking barging in on someone else, I just found the common couch and laid down. That was where Lina found me in the morning, sleeping by the fireplace, still dressed in my full suit, ripped pants and all.

All and all it was an eventful day, but not as so eventful as the next. Colombia is a place where once in never enough. You can’t have just one drink of whiskey with Uncle Daniel, one piece of meat from the platter, and one death-defying event in a car. After sobering up the next morning with a spicy soup meant to cure hangovers we returned to Villa de Leyva for some shopping and sightseeing. From there it was onto another small village several kilometers away for lunch and more shopping. On our return trip home to Bogota, we found ourselves caught in massive traffic jam, mostly due to the conditions of the road, the presence of slow-moving trucks, and more than a few accidents. (It seemed like such things really were an everyday occurrence.)

The only tricky thing was the money. That equals about 10 US Dollars.
Why don't they just drop three zeroes off all their currency?

However, the hour was getting late and the day was growing dark. I was not at control of the car. After my experience I had relinquished that responsibility to a more seasoned driver, a young man who was boyfriends with one of Lina’s cousins. He seemed a nice enough person, even if I couldn’t understand most of what he was saying. The three hour journey back to Bogota took nearly five hours, with even the road signs seemingly confused as to the actual distance of the journey. (100k to Bogota... 70k to Bogota... 76k to Bogota… "Wait, why did it go back up?") It was on this latter stretch that our driver got it into his head to pass a large tanker truck over double lines on a curve. He had been passing people on the left quite frequently, but so was everyone else. I was anxious, but who was I to talk? I had already proved my inability to drive in Colombia. On this particular pass, our driver misjudged the distance to the oncoming headlights in the opposite lane. Miraculously we managed to edge out the truck and beat the oncoming car, but it was only just barely. It's hard to communicate how scary this moment was. My own accident was merely a fender bender, this near-miss had the potential to be so much more, and I am very thankful that I am still here to write these words. Afterwards, we were all very silent, and I personally felt more relieved than angry. After that our driver didn’t pass anyone again, and my Mexican friend made him keenly aware how close we came to a very fatal car accident. He was visibly repentant.

Ironically, as scared as I was, I was also somewhat placated. My thoughts in the moment followed this order: (1) We’re going to hit. (2) I am going to die. (3) At least this one isn’t my fault. In that instant of near-death I found a new understanding, and it was the same as what everyone had been telling me, "These things happen all the time." I realized that my crash was not so much a crash of cars, but a crash of cultures. My accident was a result of driving like an American in Colombia. However, that was nothing to be ashamed of. To the people of Colombia car accidents are just part of life, and in comparison to our near-miss my own worries seemed more laughable than anything. Maybe it just helped me realize that life is full of problems, challenges, and the occasional speed bump, but that's natural. My own accident was just another occurrence on a long road. Much like the people of Colombia, I needed to learn to take certain things in stride and just do my best whatever the circumstances. After all there are more important hings in life than materiel possessions, and I think that is what I really took away from this most recent trip. 

As much as I spent a portion of my trip feeling guilty or even somewhat terrified, I cannot find many bad things to say about Colombia. Yes, the drivers are crazy and the roads are basically a game of bumper cars, but my true experience in this South American country is best summed up by that peaceful night I spent eating foreign pizza in a Spanish plaza under the stars. As I listened to the sound of a local guitarist strum out native and international songs I realized how far away from home I was and yet how familiar the people seemed. They were not speaking my language, but they were still just fellow humans going about their lives and loves, and even listening to the occasional acoustic Beatles' song. Their life was not simpler than mine or even less stressful, but they found the joy in the good parts and did their best to let the rest go. Colombia for me is not so much about the beauty of the landscape or even the amazing food, but about those people, like Nina’s mother, Carmen, or her uncle Daniel, or even the police officer that calmed me down after my accident. It is a land filled with kindhearted and caring people, who I am glad I got a chance to meet, and whom I won't soon forget.

The Story's Voice

I have very few superpowers. For instance, my core temperature is slightly above normal, allowing me to walk around in winter in T-shirts, and throw fireballs from my hands like Johnny Storm, (but I don't really like to talk about it.) However, one of those limited powers involves a strange sort of ability to recognize celebrities in all instances. I have watched TV shows and have been able to pick people out under layers of make-up and prosthetics just by the way they move their mouth or shake their head. This talent also extends to celebrity voices, which may be one of the reasons why I still enjoy watching the occasional cartoon.

I am fascinated by voice acting, and if I ever were to try my hand at celebritiness, voice acting would definitely be the way to go for me. ("Come to work in my pajamas and talk into a microphone, sure.") So for anyone who doesn't share my practiced ear, let me share with you some mind blowing facts about celebrities who are the voices behind some of your most beloved childhood cartoons.

Let's start off by talking Disney. Now first off, we all know that Dory was voices by Ellen DeGeneres, or that Tom Hanks was Woody, etc. In my mind those don't count because those are instances when celebrities were picked to be the voices of cartoons because they were celebrities. It is ironic that there are a treasure trove of talented voice actors out there, but when it comes to the big budget cartoon movies they are almost always replaced by recognizable actors, because Hollywood... However, Disney has used lesser known actors and actresses in the past, my two favorite examples are Aladdin and Mulan. Yes Robin Williams was the voice of Aladdin's Genie and Eddie Murphy was the voice of the Mulan's Dragon, we all know that. But Did you know:

Steve from Full House voiced Aladdin, and Ming Na Wen from Agents of SHIELD voiced Mulan. (Also, an interesting fact, Ming Na Wen is freaking 50 years old, and looks younger than me,) but maybe you already knew these two. Maybe you, my hypothetically generic reader, are smarter than the average beast, but I bet you would never have guessed that:

That's right, the late Jerry Orbach, best know as the smart alec, veteran, no nonsense New York detective on the original Law and Order voiced the French candlestick, Lumiere, in Beauty and the Beast and unlike the two actors I mentioned above, he also did the singing voice for the character. Now picture Detective Lenny Briscoe singing Be Our Guest at a crime scene and your day will be complete.

Nickelodeon  has more than few surprises as well to offer up from the voice community. Some people may know that Bruce Willis played the voice of Spike for a Rugrats/Wild Thornberries movie, or that Repatar was voice by Busta Rhymes in the Rugrats movie, but meet the voice of Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life:

Carlos Alazraqui from Reno 911 voiced Rocko all the way through the run of the show. Yet this is actually not that surprising. Alazraqui is primarily a voice actor, with Reno 911 being one of his only live action roles. He also plays Mr. Crokcer on Fairly Odd Parents.

My favorite celebrity/voice actors all come from the classic 80's cartoons that my generation watched on Saturday mornings, back when Saturday Morning Cartoons were a thing, (I guess nowadays its Saturday Morning... I can't even make a joke here. What do kids do on Saturday mornings now? Xbox?) The Transformers had their share of more than a few famous voice actors:

That's right Casey Kasem, the voice behind American Top 40, and other radio and TV music shows was the American voice of the Autobot Cliff Jumper, and Leonard Nimoy himself voiced the Decepticon, Galvatron, who took over as the show's main baddy after the death of Megatron. (Transformers was kind of like a Japanese soap opera for kids.) Yet, the most surprising voice belongs to this fellow:

Freakin' Citizen Kane himself, Orson Welles, voiced Unicron, the giant planet-sized transformer. Urban legend states that Welles had fallen on some hard times during the 80's and was left with very few options but to lend his voice to a transforming Japanese robot in order to continue paying his cigar and hooker bills. It was also said that he hated the part, but tragically and ironically (tragonically?) the part of Unicorn was the last part the titan of film and radio ever played. He died shortly after reading the part for Transformers the Movie. At least that is how the modern myth of transforming fighting robots reads. Still my favorite stories comes from the Real Ghostbusters the cartoon show based on the classic movie series.

Thus further proving that the 80's were a good time for Arsenio Hall and Dave Coulier. An ironic caveat is that Dave Coulier, best know as Uncle Joey on Full House, was not the original voice for cartoon Peter Venkman. The job originally belonged to Lorenzo Music, whose biggest credit is that he co-created the Bob Newhart Show. Mr. Music (that's a fun name) was the original voice of Garfield the cat, a job that was taken over in the movie by none other than Bill Murry or the real-life Peter Venkman.

Speaking of 80's voice cartoons, the next two you might have heard about:

That's right, James Avery, the lovable Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince found himself being fustrated by more than the just antics of Will Smith. It turns out he had four green menaces haunting his dreams as he played Shredder on the 80's incarnation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the uncool Urkel, Jaleel White, from Family Matters, was in fact the ultra-cool voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. In fact, Jaleel voiced Sonic across three different cartoon versions.

However no show in the good old Regan era even holds a candle to Captain Planet and the Planeteers. That show was packed with celebrity voices, and not just relative unknowns or B-list TV actors. I am talking actors in the prime of their careers, or at least on the rise in Hollywood. My only theory is that Captain Planet was a cartoon show with a heavy hand toward pushing environmentalism, so for liberal Hollywood it probably seemed like the place to be. For example:

Kwame the African planeteer was played by LeVar Burton, and Gaia was played by fellow Star trek alum Whoopi Goldberg, during the height of both their careers. The rest played villains, which meant they only had to show up for like five episodes in a year, and most celebrities wound up dropping off their parts after only a season or two. For instance when Sting left the role of Zarm it was taken over a year later by Malcolm "freaking" McDowell. Probably the least known of any of the people on this list is Dean Stockwell who played Duke Nukem, (not the one you're thinking of,) but I including him because Quantum Leap rules, and he voiced the character at the height of its popularity, same goes for Cliff from Cheers, but John Ratzenberger would go on to do other voice work as a talking piggy bank, which people nowadays may be more familiar with.

Tim Curry also played the voice of an evil Computer, MAL, but much like Ed Asner they are both prolific voice actors in their own rights. Tim's naturally malevolently deep voice lends itself to so many evil characters... as well as Nigel Thornberry, for some reason.

There are of course other shows that feature just as many hidden celebrity voices. Mark Hamil, (Mr. Luke Skywalker himself,) is actually a huge figure in the voice acting community. Hamil got into a bad car accident some years after filming Return of the Jedi and his face was badly scarred, and that put an end to his onscreen career. So he picked up the pieces by using his voice talents to fill the gaps. His most notable and memorable character is the Joker on the old Batman The Animated Series. He has continued that voice into modern times, as he continues to voice the Joker for the Arkham games along with veteran Batman voice actor, Kevin Conroy. In fact, the DC Animated Universe, (which was spawned form Batman TAS,) has utilized almost every voice actor or B-list celebrity they can get there hands on over the years. I could literally write another blog on the voice talent in that show alone.

Similarly, Disney's Gargoyles a somewhat cult classic cartoon show from the 90's, features pretty much every actor who was ever on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and Star Trek: Voyager, (and Ed Asner.) That probably has more to do with the fact that Jonathon Frakes, who played William Riker on TNG, was one of the principal cast and started pulling in other cast members from the shows which were also running concurrently with the cartoon at the time. I really only mention it because it so apparent that many fans have loving referred to the show as Star Trek: Gargoyles.

But we're not done yet. I have saved the best ones for last. I have no real stories for any of these. I think think they are kind of surprising. So I'll just go ahead and show you:

So take that for what it's worth. JK Simmons, best know for his roles on Law and Order, and as the best damn J. Jonah Jameson anyone has ever saw, from Sam Rami's Spider-Man Duology (I refuse to acknowledge Spider-Man 3,) plays the voice of the Yellow M&M on commercials. Jessica Walter, from Arrested Development, used to be the voice of Fran the Dinosaur on ABC's old sitcom, Dinosaurs. Of course she is no stranger to voice work, as anyone who has watched Archer knows. Similarly, Fergie makes a life by using her voice (and other *ahem* assets,) but it was only her voice she started with, which is maybe why she played the voice of Sally Brown for a few of the old Charlie Brown movies. Yet the most shocking has to be the fact that Michael Cera was the voice of Brother Bear on the Berenstein Bears. Just when you thought he couldn't get more awkward.

So I hope I have opened your eyes up to a few of the faces behind the animation. Voice acting has always held a strange fascination for me. There is a story behind every word and person being every voice. So maybe keep your ears open the next time you are watching a cartoon, a movie, or even a commercial. You may just be surprised with who you hear.

The State of Comics: DC

Hope someone is taking his key.

This post pains me to write more than any other. I have always been a defender of Detective Comics. (I know that means that when you say DC Comics we are really saying Detective Comics Comics, but I don't care. Go to your ATM machines and deposit that.) Everyone has always criticized DC, saying that Marvel was much more down to earth, much more believable, because for some getting bit by a radioactive spider is way more believable than an alien sent to Earth as a baby. Now I always got what they meant, Superman was too perfect and Spider-Man was more like everyone else, he had problems like any normal kid, but to me DC and Marvel have always been like apples and oranges, two fruits but with different tastes.

Marvel is grittier and writes comics about ordinary men who gain super powers. DC on the other hand has always been loftier and looked at the world of superheroes like mythology. DC heroes are like a modern pantheon of gods, so far above the mortal man that I can understand how they might turn some people off, but for me it has always been the biggest check mark in the DC box. If I want to see an anti-hero who smokes and curses I'll read a Wolverine comic, but if I want a story about heroes (someone to look up and aspire to,) I will read a Superman comic, and that was always the point. We sympathize with Marvel, but we aspire to be DC. Unfortunately, I sometimes think I am the only one who gets this, and it's starting to seem more and more like even the people at DC don't quite get this. Long story short, Marvel is leaving them in the dust.

For some reason DC just can't get their act together. They are all over the map, frightfully clinging to old formulas that are almost ten years out of date. There are rumors every year of Flash movies, Wonder Woman movies, Sandman movies, Green Lantern reboots, even a Justice League Dark movie, but it all seems so disorganized. It's like DC runs its company by polling one-hundred random people they find on the street. They seem unwilling or incapable of finding a clear vision and sticking to it. I'm not saying Marvel is not run by public opinion to some degree, but it feels much more coherent. I mean they trust their path enough to gamble on a blockbuster Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man movie. Hell, even an Iron Man movie was a bit of a gamble ten years ago, but that didn't stop them.

There is one thing Marvel hasn't done
yet, made a movie about a strong female
superhero. This could have been DC's
jumping off point. This could have put
them apart, but that requires a little faith
in your own characters, something DC
has historically been reluctant to show.

DC on the other hand is like a six year old unsure of what he wants his mother to buy him in the toy store. So he spends most of his time running up and down one aisle after the other, agonizing over decisions. He always inevitably returns to the most popular toy, the one you knew he would get all along. Yet even when he finally makes his decision it seems half-hearted and disappointing. DC will be going ahead with Batman vs. Superman (or whatever they will be calling it) for 2016 and a 2018 Justice League movie as they rush to accomplish in two movies what Marvel did in six well crafted ones. The effort feels forced and lackluster somehow. Maybe I am just already expecting disappointment. I mean it happens so much nowadays with the DC title, but it wasn't always like this. Ten years ago I would have said that DC was firmly in the lead. Batman: The Animated Series was an award winning cartoon that spawned the DC Animated Universe which in itself was a universe of award winning cartoons that all tied together to make a rich world of heroes and villains. The Arkham series of video games never fails to disappoint, Batman Begins made superheroes cool again in 2005 (three full years before Robert Downey Jr. ever strapped on a Iron Man suit,) and then Nolan smashed it out of the park with The Dark Knight in 2008. The comics were ramping up with storylines like Blackest Night and Flashpoint. Even Smallville, (which really was nothing more than a ten year long tease,) was on the air keeping Superman alive in the public conscience. Then it all fell apart.

It was like DC got scared of itself and just started doing the same things over and over again. Smallville was kind of popular, so let's make Arrow. Batman Begins was dark a gritty so let's make Man of Steel the same way. People like Ryan Reynolds and CGI so let's make Green Lantern. People liked Arkham Asylum so let's just make more of those, because Batman. I swear to Jor'el that the agenda at the DC office must just say: Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman, two dozen times over. They have developed a formula for success that reads, "Everything must be like Batman" (except that one Green Lantern movie which we will never speak of again.) I won't even get started on the New 52, one of the most sinful things the company could have done. (Because let's strip away almost sixty years of history and try to become more like Marvel.)

I understand that DC can't make movies the way Marvel does. Anything they do now will just look like they are playing catch-up with their competition. So if they want to go back to their roots to look for inspiration I think they don't have to go further back than their old Justice League cartoons. Start with the team movie and then break everyone out into individual ones from there. Take the Marvel formula and work backwards, and you can drop the origin stories. We know the origins of most of these characters. Heck we've heard them half a dozen times and for the newbies in the audience you can touch on them briefly, but we don't need to rehash them every single time. Man of Steel seems to be the DC's cinematic jumping off point, which also gives me mixed emotions. In some way's I enjoyed the movie, in others I think it butchered the Superman mythos just so it could be "dark." I wrote a full blog on my thoughts about that so I won't go into it here, but sufficed to say it didn't leave me with a sense of hope for the future of DC movies, because ultimately DC's universe has and always will revolve around Superman. Let me explain...

Think about the differences between Marvel and DC. The big one is the existence of Superman. The man of steel is practically a god, which makes him an almost omnipresent shadow cast over the entire universe. However, he is also the most moral and upstanding person you will ever meet. That means Supes becomes the very ideal of what it means to be a superhero in the DC universe. The rest of the heroes have to live up to him. That doesn't mean that gritty characters can't exist in DC, the Teen Titans and Justice League Dark are examples that it can be done, but what separates the two comic companies is the fact that Marvel heroes don't have that specter of blue and red hanging over them. Captain America is great but he doesn't have the power or presence of Superman. Supes sets the tone for everything. So if Man of Steel is meant to set the tone for the DC Cinematic Universe, I have more than few concerns.

There is no denying that Marvel is winning the comic race. They have the vision, the means, and the will to carry out a full cinematic universe, where as (if it's not Batman) DC seems to have no idea what to do with anything. Joss Whedon (the current guru of the Marvel's Cinematic Universe) went to DC years ago with a Wonder Woman script. They basically laughed his ass out of the office. Marvel is now gambling on a movie starring a talking Raccoon and DC somehow couldn't find a will to make a movie about the strongest woman in comic history? Had that meeting gone differently, I have to wonder if this current blog post might be reversed with DC now existing in a expanded immense movie universe and Marvel left floundering in their wake. I guess, unless there is some kind of real life Infinite Crisis and we get to see a glimpse of a world where that happened, we will never know. The state of DC is less than optimistic.

This about sums up my feelings.

The State of Comics: Marvel

So I finally saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier over this past weekend (I know I can't believe it took me this long either,) and all I can say is that there is a reason it is the biggest April movie of all time and has been on the top of the movie charts for three weeks running now. Whether you're a comic book fan, a movie fan, or just a human with a pulse, I promise you there is something worth seeing in this movie, and in my opinion a good microcosm of everything that Marvel is doing right. On a personal note it is really great to see Cap get to spread his legs in a movie set in modern America where he is isn't distracted by invading aliens and Robert Downey Jr. Yet, more to the point it is great to see Cap acting like Cap, not as a mindless violent icon draped in red, white, and blue, but as a moral beacon who fights for the principals of freedom and liberty, even if that conflicts with those in power above him.

And for me, this is a lot of where Marvel's success is coming from. Though they do take their liberties, they still stay true to the comic, if not in letter, in spirit. Thus, we will not see Captain America wander the country a breaded hobo as he struggles to be grittier than he really is. In fact, in the times of uncertain morality, that is when our super soldier really shines, and this movie goes to great lengths to illustrate that. Cap is my favorite superhero, (a non-bearded, red-brief-wearing, Superman is a very very close second,) and not because he just happens to be a hero dressed like a one-man Fourth of July celebration, but because he represents something greater. He doesn't fight for the policies and laws of America, instead he fights for the spirit of America. Those two things are more or less aligned during the black and white days of World War II but in the modern post 9/11 era those lines become blurry, a point which Captain America: The Winter Soldier does an excellent job of showing.

Steve Rogers struggles with his new life and new role in this modern world, but he never forgets the morality that made him who he was. He never feels the need to sink to some sort of moral ambiguity because of overwhelming internal conflicts (blah blah blah.) Sure he has troubles and worries and fears, but he never stops being that good man that Dr. Erskine found for his super soldier serum. Captain America is strong and fast, but his power as a hero has always been inspiration. He makes people want to be better. He's not a leader because he is the most powerful of the Avengers, but because of his sense of fairness and his willingness to stand up for what's right. He has the uncanny ability to see how the world can be better and understand what needs to be done to make it so, not just for America but for everyone, (because not everyone has to be the Dark Knight, but I guess no one told DC that.)

[SPOILRES AHEAD] 

Of all the movies, this one has had one of the largest impacts on the Marvel Cinematic Universe. SHIELD is destroyed. Though it is not entirely the organization's fault that Hydra infiltrated it, Captain America makes it clear that when you have an organization (any organization) who rules through fear and secrets there is too much potential for abuse of trust (a very appropriate message for the world today.) The implications of this are huge, especially when seen in the light of Whedon's Agents of SHIELD TV show. Whedon has basically spent most of the season pushing the fact that (aside form all the superspy/covert stuff) SHIELD neutralizes abnormal and superhuman threats. Though I am certain that the organization under Fury will continue in one form or another, they will not be the all powerful omnipotent presence they once were. There is going to be a large opening now for a lot of new superhumans to arise, both good and bad. As Baron Von Strucker so succinctly puts it at the end of the movie, "We have entered an age of miracles." However, this also has good implications for the Avengers as a team.

In Avengers 2 I have no doubt that we will see the Avengers become more of a centralized team. In their first outing together the alliance seemed temporary, a construct put together by SHIELD to face a momentary threat and then just as quickly disbanded. However with SHIELD fractured this leaves an opening for the Avengers to become a team in their own right, no longer under the thumb of Nick Fury. (I also think they already know a guy who would be willing to finance it.) I would not be surprised if after Avengers 2 we see them as a team on a more permanent basis.

Needs a bit more red in the costume.

Other highlights of the movie for me included Sam Wilson. I love the Falcon as a hero and a character. Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson are a great duo and I am very happy to see that they didn't just make the cinematic version of Sam some SHIELD agent. He's a soldier, a veteran, and a community leader, much like in the comics. His wings get clipped at the end of the movie, but I think Steve may know a guy who is decent in robotics and could probably replace them. I do like that Crossbones was a SHIELD/Hydra agent, and there seems definite potential that this huge threat could (and will) be coming back. We finally get to meet Sharon Carter, and there is more than enough foreshadowing to confirm that Bucky will be the next Captain America. All the times he held the damn shield up were enough to illustrate that point, (but also Sebastian Stan signed a Marvel contract for nine movies and Chris Evans only signed for a six movie contract, you do the math.) Lastly, almost as a throwaway line Stephen Strange's name is dropped into the mix.

Iron Man 3 was a decent movie as was Thor: the Dark World, though if truth be told there was nothing really there to excite me. I had been harboring a secret fear that the Cinematic Universe peaked with Avengers and now Marvel and Disney were just going to sit back and milk the cow for all it was worth, but this movie has reinvigorated me, similar to Agents' of SHIELD. In the beginning the show seemed to be more gimmicky than anything else, spending more time on bland plot lines and dropping shameless comic book references (which I do personally love) than developing any real story momentum, but with their tie-in with Captain America I now see where the season had been heading all along. I am reinvigorated and I cannot wait for their next episode or even for Guardians of the Galaxy coming out at the end of summer. (It's going to be a weird movie, but I have a lot of faith, now.)

So for anyone who thought that the Marvel fad was over, stay tuned, because Captain America: The Winter Soldier just proved that we have only begun to scratch the surface of a much deeper world. People were immensely impressed that Marvel was able to build this Cinematic Universe in the first place, but I have a feeling we have yet to see the full extent and glory of their ambition. The state of Marvel is strong. I wish I could say the same for DC.

Blood Moon Over New Jersey

So, I'm feeling a little tired this morning, as last night I did something I haven't done in a long time. I went to sleep early, but that's not the point. I set my alarm clock for 2 AM and despite the intermittent cloud cover I still lugged my tired ass out of bed and found a comfortable spot outdoors to watch the lunar show. Armed with nothing but a warm hoody and my iPod (and pants. I was wearing pants, damnit,) I laid out under the night sky to contemplate the heavens above and my place among them.

There is something strange about watching the shadow of the Earth slowly (yet perceptibly) move across the surface of the moon, like some negative image cast by our world. If we could magnify the edges of that shadow, would we see moving clouds and atmosphere, or miniscule satellites and space stations orbiting the dark reflection. (we wouldn't, but I am being poetic here.) Our brains are not normally programmed to think beyond the small box of our typical lives. How often do you stop to contemplate the world upon which you stand and its movements through the solar system? Yet, laying under a cloudy/starry sky there is no denying the power of the cosmos and the insignificance of yourself by comparison. (By the way, I know I have been harping on the subject of the cosmos lately, but I mean c'mon, it's amazing.)

So often we see the sky as a flat surface, a background to our lives, unimportant and unmoving. In actuality, we pay more attention to the weather than the stars or the moon, a fact I was also reminded of last night as the time approached 3 AM and the cloud cover finally obscured the lunar event. (Thus, I, unfortunately, did not get to see the moon turn red.) Yet even the movements of the clouds was enough to make me feel the turning of the Earth below me, because the sky above is more than some painted backdrop (like an old Hollywood movie set.) If anything our lives constitute the background for the great cosmic show of the universe. Earth is one planet among eight (or nine,) circling one star among countless stars in a galaxy among countless galaxies. Everyone you have ever known, loved, admired, hated, every emperor, king, president, celebrity, sports star, every beautiful person, every ugly person, every war, every empire, every work of art, every love and heartbreak you have ever suffered, every defeat, and every victory you have ever known or heard of has taken place on this small blue orb, where time (in the cosmic sense) passes as quick as the flutter of a butterfly wing, at least every victory save for one.

On July 20, 1969, human beings set foot on the surface of the moon, the very object I found myself staring up at last night. It was the first truly non-Earthbound victory of mankind, and that event did not escape me as I looked up at the slowly disappearing circle in the sky. I had to keep reminding myself that the moon was a physical place where people could walk, and did. I thought of the things we left behind, the (now sun-bleached) flag, the lower part of the landing modules, the moon buggies, and the other artifacts of human exploration. They were up on that pale white and gray surface somewhere, Earth-made objects left marooned on an alien landscape. We had once crossed the river of space that separates us from our own natural satellite. Yet, it made me sad, because as I looked up at the moon there was no one there to look back at me. In July it will be forty-five years since we first put a foot on the moon's surface. Why did we ever stop?

Located mere inches (by my view) to the right of the bright orb of the moon was the single red dot of Mars, and as spectacular as the moon was, I could not keep my eyes from wandering to that small speck of light either, a drop of blood floating beside a crisp white disc. I thought of the Curiosity rover currently making its robotic journey across the sands of that alien world, so distant that the light reflecting off it was several minutes old by the time it reached my eye. I imagined what it might be like to stand on Mars and see its great canyons, mountains, and river basins. What would the landscape look like from atop Olympus Mons, and how come there is no human alive yet that can describe that for me? Again, I had to keep reminding myself that this point in the sky was also a physical and actual place. It existed, surely as the ground upon which I lay, out there, waiting to be trodden by human feet.

All this made me feel insignificant, not because of the sheer size of the cosmos before me, but because of our lack of ambition to go there. The human race will only stop being small after we have made the effort to grow out from our home. Earth is beautiful and I love it more than anything, but we cannot remain here solely. It is comfortable and warm, like my old bed in our parent's house or that comfortable blanket I once held onto for far longer than I should have, but these are childish things. We need to put aside our comforts and our fears because if we do not expand, I promise you, we will regret it. All this and more passed through my head as I listened to my music and gazed up at a small section of a sky that together held so much promise for humanity... I was also debated getting a Wawa sandwich. I was hungry.

The next blood moon will appear in our skies on October 8 of this year, then again in April and September of 2015, but if you don't catch any of those, you won't have another chance till sometime in 2032.

Five Best Friends on TV

Television is filled with memorable characters, some good, some bad, and some are people who you wouldn't mind being friends with in real life. They are the crazy, the cool, the funny, and sometimes the downright weird. So in celebration of the recent loss of two of my favorite TV friends (see No. 4) I want to present a list of what I consider to be the top five ultimate best friendships on TV, past or present.

Honorable Mentions: Corey Matthews and Shawn Hunter (Boy Meets World); Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza (Seinfeld); Chuck Bartowski and Morgan Grimes (Chuck); Will Smith and Carlton Banks (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air); Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy (30 Rock); Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street); Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (Friends); Dean Winchester and Castiel (Supernatural); James T. Kirk and Spock (Star Trek); Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh (South Park).

5. Tyrion Lannister and Bronn of the Blackwater Game of Thrones

Though their relationship started as one of sellsword and "person who has a lot of money and needs protection" it has progressed into something more. Bronn is not your average mercenary, as his quick wit and obvious common sense smarts means he can keep up with Tyrion's own intellect, or at the very least offer a one-liner that cuts to the heart of whatever was just said in a conversation. Yet, its more than just their banter that makes them a good pairing. Bronn helps keep Tyrion grounded and Tyrion offers Bronn a better life than he could have ever hoped to have as a common thug for hire. They both like to pretend that they stay together because of the money Tyrion is paying Bronn (and though that's a perk) you can tell that they genuinely like each other.

BRONN: Don't get killed.

TYRION: Nor you, my friend.

BRONN: Oh... are we friends now?

TYRION: Of course we are. Just because I pay you for your services, doesn't diminish our friendship.

BRONN: It enhances it, really.

TYRION: Oh, "enhances". Fancy word for a sellsword.

BRONN: I've been spending time with fancy folks.

4. Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster Psych 

The longest friendship of this list, Shawn and Gus have been friends since childhood. The pair just celebrated their last adventure together in a very fitting and heartfelt series finale, but even though the series is over, the friendship of these two lives on. Shawn is a brilliant but lazy and jobless man-child. Gus is straight-laced and hardworking, but can be a mess in his personal life. Together the men have forged a friendship unlike any other. They have spent so much time together they practically have their own language based on snide mouth clicks, one word sentences, and on the spot lies and aliases, (mostly instigated by Shawn.) Much like the show itself, the pair never takes themselves too seriously, even when Gus has a manic breakdown (which he is prone to.) Shawn is that friend who you often find yourself enduring a lot of BS with, but for some reason can never stay mad at. He often acts aloof at the expense of Gus, but the truth is that he cares deeply for him and vice-versa, one hardly seems able to exist without the other.

SHAWN: Here's the thing: I think Scott was murdered, robbed. The killer thinks the coast is clear. He's finally selling off his belongings. [Knocks on door]

GUS: So all we have to do is find the seller.

SHAWN: We just did!

GUS: What?

SHAWN: Ooh.

GUS: You just knocked on the door of a murderer and all you can say is, "Ooh?"

SHAWN: I should have thought about it in my head before I said it out loud, but I wanted a fun reveal. For you!

GUS: Shawn!

3. Abed Nadir and Troy Barnes Community

Have you ever had a friend who you get completely lost in? Well Troy knows exactly what that is like, as more than four years of his life has become consumed by his friendship with Abed, this kid who he met at a local community college. In all fairness though, it's kind of hard not to get swept up in the world of Abed, even the best of the Greendale Community finds it hard to resist. Troy, however, is not just a sidekick to Abed, a Constable Reggie to his Inspector Spacetime, as it is revealed that Troy helps keep Abed grounded. Perhaps for the former high school jock, Abed is the kind of person he always needed in his life, someone to let him know that building pillow forts and loving LeVar Burton so much that it restricts your ability to speak, is okay. For Abed, Troy is the one person who not only doesn't get tired of his constant antics, but even goes so far as to protect him from the outside world. Troy worries and cares about his friend, deeply, knowing that Abed always tends to be one magical claymation adventure away from a mental breakdown. Regardless, how can you fault either of them for a friendship that includes a fake morning talk show?

ABED: I hate when they finish each other’s…

TROY: … pies.

2. John Dorian and Christopher Turk Scrubs

Speaking of two people who have been friends since college and have an unspeakable bond that transcends both race and embarrassment, JD and Turk are among the two best friends you will ever meet. Their love is so deep that they actually sleep very comfortably next to one another in the same bed. Turk is more the jock and JD more the clumsy emotional one, but they both equally enjoy playing pranks and generally being weird. Their strengths and weaknesses sort of blend together, making them seem more like two parts of one biracial love-doctor, than two separate people. When Turk needs to figure out his emotions JD is there to help. When JD knocks himself unconscious in an attempt at playing sports, Turk is there to make him feel better. With pet names such as "chocolate bear," and being overwhelmingly comfortable with each other physically, its not hard to see why their relationship practically coined the term, "bromance," or an entire song about "Man Love." It is also pretty well understood that neither of them will ever love their significant others in quite the same way as they love each other.

TURK: We agreed that's how we'd raise our kids.

JD: Our kids? Turk, we're not married.

TURK: Dude, we're a little married.

JD: I know. I love it.

1. Lucille Ricardo and Ethel Mertz I Love Lucy

A friendship can start in many ways, college, childhood, hiring one person to be your mercenary killer, etc... but for Lucy and Ethel it all started when Lucy and her husband Ricky moved into the apartment building of Fred and Ethel Mertz. In that moment one of the first ever TV friendships was formed. Lucy is a schemer and even though Ethel is more level-headed she often finds herself wrapped up in the machinations of her crazy friend. A lot of the plots of the show center around Lucy and Ethel trying to pull something off while avoiding the attention of their husbands and in these moments you see two women who truly care about one another. The term "thick as thieves" is not an inappropriate analogy for the two. In a way their relationship was the forerunner for a lot of the others on this list: one's a dreamer the other is grounded; one's kind of dumb the other is smart; one's always got a plan and the other wants nothing to do with it. They even have their own friendship song, (much like JD and Turk.) Yet their relationship is still completely unique and has withstood the test of time, even after more than fifty years of television history.

LUCY: Oh, gee, Ethel, thanks. It's times like these when you know what friends are for.

ETHEL: If I'd known this was what friends were for, I'd have signed up as an enemy!

How Neil deGrasse Tyson Made Me Cry

For anyone not watching the new Cosmos on Fox, you are missing out, and I say that sentence with none of my usual ironic bite or snarky superiority. I literally mean to say, you are missing out. I have nothing but praise for this series. I can't think of one thing wrong with it. I should probably just end my review here and leave it at that, but when have I ever been brief in my writing? (That was a rhetorical question by the way.) Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey just premiered its fourth episode last Sunday on Fox, and it has yet to fail to disappoint. It is spectacular in all aspects: the visual effects, the mind-blowing facts, the animated historical portions, the magnificent musical score, and all brought into crystal clear focus by the sonorous baritone voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson. It is like forty-four minutes of heaven, (with numerous commercial breaks,) an ironic comparison since Creationists would call it anything but.

Cosmos has been in development for years. Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan's widow, who helped bring the world the original Cosmos: A Personal Voyage, along with astrophysicist, Steven Soter, and Neil "Need's No Introduction" deGrasse Tyson, have been pushing the idea of rebooting and updating Sagan's dream for a while now. The goal was to inspire a new generation with the mysteries of the natural world in the way that so many people were inspired by Sagan's vision. Unfortunately the project floundered for some years until helped along by the only person that has more power at the Fox network than Rupert Murdoch, Seth MacFarlane. To some he may seem an unlikely hero in this story, after all Family Guy isn't exactly quality educational programing, but the truth is that MacFarlane has always had an affinity for the science and space exploration. Anyone who was ever fans of Star Trek: Enterprise knows that much. (So myself and Scott Bakula.) MacFarlane was one of those small boys inspired by the first Cosmos series and he is a life-long Trekkie. Maybe then it was no coincidence that Brannon Braga of Star Trek: Next Generation fame signed on to direct, and Sir Patrick Stewart became available to lend his voice. After all Star Trek and Sagan have always existed as two sides of the same coin.

You know what is amazing about this image of
the Pismis 24 star cluster? It's not CGI. It's real.
It actually friggin exists. Space is amazing.

Personally, I have been an enthusiast of quantum physics, astronomy, and astrophysics for years now. I even wrote a primer on the subject. So even though none of the evidence and revelations presented by Cosmos is nothing new to me, such fore knowledge has not served to dampen my reverence for the show and its science. For me it is almost a religious experience, seeing the wonder, the possibility, and the majesty of our world laid out in beautiful CGI HD brilliance, but there is a heart-break there as well. There is so much out there for the human race to know and explore. We belong among the stars, we deserve to be out there, and yet we are held back by the skeletons in our closets and the demons of our past. Reading the tweets of blind faith Creationists makes my head hurt. Creationism still gets taught in some science classrooms. We spend more money making rockets that kill people than rockets that put people on the moon. It makes me want to leave this planet behind and find a better one, out among the stars, and then I get sad all over again because I don't have a spaceship that operates outside the laws of Einstein's Laws, (or one that is little more than a soda bottle filled with Pepsi and Mentos.) In a lot of ways it feels like we have lost our old spirit, that boundless wonder that drove us farther and deeper into the path of the unknown. Now, when I look around at the human race all I see are people clinging to old dogmas and past glories, faded as gray as the hair of our elected officials.

Yet, I don't want to dwell on that. Cosmos is too good for me to cloud it with the pessimism of my fears. I anxiously anticipate the return of Game of Thrones and the opening of Captain America: Winter Soldier, but more than even, that I find myself looking forward to the next episode of the Cosmos, because as cool as everything else is in my nerdtastic life is, they will never compare to the awe I feel (every time) I look up up at the stars. Imagine what else must be out there, worlds full of possibilities. Many Christians take it as a slight that we humans developed from animals, or that we are nothing more than small specks floating on a slightly larger speck, but I think it is wondrous. It makes us no less special than anything else out there. In my opinion, it means we are even more special than we previously thought. We are not the center of the universe. We may only be animals, but we are also molecules and atoms, the exact same matter that once cooked in the heart of ancient stars. I don't know if God exists, but I do know that we are not separate from the cosmos around us, we are part of it.

We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out, and so maybe the answer you are looking for is: Yes, thinking about that makes me tear up, and I'm not even certain why. More importantly, why don't more people get excited by this? Amazed by this? Moved to be a part of this? Hopefully, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Cosmos will help change that.