Ghostbusters III

I know it has been a while since my last blog post. To any of my loyal readers (hi, Mom,) I apologize for the long hiatus. Life has gotten pretty crazy over the last four weeks, but all that is in the past. Now we look to the future, and depending on what news source you look to, the future may or may not involve a third iteration of the Ghostbusters franchise (or a prequel, or a reboot, or an all girls cast, or movie set in prehistoric New York.) I don't want to address any of the rumors out there or even comment on them. I want to just float my own ides for what would make a worthy successor to two of my favorite 80's movies.

First off, let's lay something out, right off the bat. There are very few flaws in the original Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II. The tone is consistent, the movies are fun (with the right mix of believable suspended belief and over-the-top-Staypuff-Marshmellow-Man moments,) and they are funny. So it unnerves me sometimes when I read a lot of these supposed ideas for a new movie and I find people who just want to mess with (in my opinion) what works. So for the movie I am proposing we want to keep it as close to the originals as we possibly can, with the same feel.

However, we also have to be careful. Since we are introducing a new cast we also don't want our four new Ghostbusters to be bad carbon copies of the four originals. Now, I don't care if they are all women, or all men, or all kittens (I just got an idea for a viral video.) If a character works it should work regardless of gender or race. (Those things can be fleshed out in casting.) What I am concerned with, is that we don't have four people who are trying too hard to be Dan Akroyd, Harold Remis, Ernie Hudson, and Bill Murray (no one can be Bill Murray, but Bill Murray). That would be a mistake as those four individuals are unique and I don't want to watch a movie about four people I don't care about trying to be people I really do care about. All that formula does is make me want to walk out of a theater and pop in a DVD of a far better movie. Instead, we need new characters that work in the vein of the original Ghostbusters but bring their own spin to their roles. In this way the audience can fall in love with them for different reasons. After all, when you break up with a person, do you immediately go out and try to find their exact clone? No, every person is unique and the love you have for someone will always be different than the love you have for someone else.

Yet, one of the things we need to keep is the working-class feel of the old movies. Part of the appeal of the Ghostbusters is not that they were superheroes (and I will say this now, with the capslock down: MAKING A NEW GHOSTBUSTERS MOVIE FOLLOW IN THE GENRE OF BLOCKBUSTER SUPERHERO MOVIES WILL RUIN THE FRANCHISE.) With that said if during the movie, once the new Ghostbusters' business gets off the ground, if they wanted to make a really bad commercial portraying themselves as superheroes, which also lampoons those typical blockbuster movies, that would be comedy and completely appropriate. However, that cannot be the movie. Ghostbusters at its heart is about working stiffs trying to do a job that makes them more like exterminators than crime fighters, but in the end they manage to save the city of New York, despite the fact that they seem like the last people who could accomplish it.

Now that we have some of the ground rules established let's talk plot. I have a few ideas which I think would work and help make this new movie unique yet still fun and franchise friendly:

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We should open up with our main character, a thirty something year old who is down on his luck. Fired from his job, no girlfriend, broke as hell... the works. He decides to go back to college to try and improve his situation. (This should all be explained quickly and without a lot of fluff.) He is paired with the roommate that no one else wants. He is a college age student that is kind of weird, a little out of touch with the real world, but very intelligent. Our main character will make a quick connection with another student. This one is kind of a troublemaker, but very intelligent. Perhaps our hero can save him or her from some situation (such as getting suspended.) They would meet because they have a class together. This new character might have to be the opposite sex from the main character as to spark a romantic interest to give further motivation for helping them out. The troublemaker character would not be grateful though and would walk away.

Establishing the characters needs to happen very quick. We don't need an origin story. We just need a flavor for each of the four new Ghostbusters and let the audiences imagination fill in the rest. Also any romantic tension between opposite sex characters needs to never (I repeat never) come to fruition. This is not a romantic comedy. Play the tension for laughs, but do not let two Ghostbusters get together. (Look at how Guardians of the Galaxy did the romantic tension between Starlord and Gamora for an example.) If you must let them get together, (because this is Hollywood) than suggest it at the very end of the movie (similar to how the Peter Venkman and Dana Barret relationship plays out,) but never confirm it.

The fourth Ghostbuster should be a random student thrown into the mix. Our main character and his roommate will have the same Physics class taught by Professor Ray Stanz (Dan Akroyd cameo.) They will be put into lab groups, with the two roommates obviously working together out of necessity of not knowing anyone else. The main character would rope in the troublemaker (perhaps due to his/her sexual interest in them,) and the fourth member would be just a new face. He/she could maybe be a little dumber (but not Hollywood idiot dumb,) but maybe they are a smooth talker, a snake oil salesman. It would be during a late night research session in the library that the four characters come across their first spiritual encounter. The library would be a good and appropriate place for this to happen. This would spark the interest of one of the group, possibly the main character, which would lead them into research about paranormal activity in New York. Now we get see them come across research of old Ghostbusters' footage and newspaper clippings. This leads the group to the realization that their professor was once a Ghostbuster. 

Still better graphics than the CGI on The Mummy Returns.

Fast forward to them talking with Ray who is reluctant to talk about the Ghostbusting days, but does so anyway. This gives our heroes the idea to bring back the Ghostbusters as a way to make money to pay off their student loans and debts. Ray is reluctant, but eventually shows them the original proton packs, but refuses to let them use them. (You know because they are unlicensed nuclear accelerators and all...)  Our four new heroes eventually steal them and use them to trap the library ghost, which convinces Ray that maybe it is time for the return of the Ghostbusters. Montage scene of establishing the business (creating a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and buying a rundown building with the last of the main character's life savings) and the Ghostbusters are back in business.

I am undecided if the new Ghostbusters should return to the firehouse. Realistically that property would be waaay out of their price range in modern New York City, especially considering its prime location in the downtown area. In fact, the movie can even make a joke about how expensive it is, and even give the building a cameo, but not settle on it. Another possibility (and this is unlikely) is a cameo by Bill Murray who still owns the Firehouse and has tried to use it to make money over the years (turning it into a night club or a Ghostbusters museum,) and is willing to let the new Ghostbusters use it for a price. Also I want the next cameo by Ernie Hudson to be as Winston, who now owns a car dealership or automotive repair garage. (The irony being that he is the most successful of the original crew.) He has kept Ecto-1 preserved in his lot. The new Ghostbusters will use it and restore it.

This should all happen very quickly. The Ghostbusters need to be in business by the half-hour mark of the movie. The remaining seventy minutes of the movie need to be devoted to pure ghostbusting and the eventual big bad Zuul/Gozer demon-spirit that is steadily rising to power throughout the movie. The Ghostbusters will eventually have to stop it and just like in the original movies the movie should end with some big ridiculous thing happening (the rise of Staypuff Marshmallow Man, or the Statue of Liberty walking through NYC.) Basically, the formula for the movies is sound and its been thirty years since we have seen a new movie, (so there is a very low risk of a formulaic plot being seen as stale.) I don't think there is a big need to change up much else. Even the classic CGI look of the ghosts feels pretty good even three decades later. This is definitely the case where too much tinkering would be a bad thing, and besides maybe updating the jokes and establishing the cast as their own characters I don't see much need to mess with a winning format.

On that note, let's just touch on casting real quick. First off, I don't want our new cast to be big name celebrities or comedians. I don't want to see a Melissa McCarthy, or James Franco, or Michael Cera, or anyone who has been in Brides Maids, The Hangover, etc... stepping into these roles. Remember that even though in the early 80's Bill Murry was a rising star, this was not a Bill Murry movie. So the last thing I want to see is Ghostbusters III becoming a Seth Rogen movie.

I can see this working

However, having some minor star power would not be amiss. For one thing, I see our main character as being played by Bill Hader. He has the right amount of funny and recognizableness without overpowering the movie. Also he has the Saturday Night Live connection which harkens back to Akroyd and Murray. With that said though I don't want to see an all SNL cast, nor do I want an all male/white cast. This is modern 2014 New York, the most racially complex city on the planet. The Ghostbusters should be similarly multi-racial, (and not with just one token black guy who gets way less screen time, either.) Additionally, I would not be remiss if we found out one of the new Ghostbusters was gay/lesbian. As the Ghostbusters of old reflected the sensibilities of the their time, so must the new Ghostbusters reflect the sensibilities of today.

Most of all, though, we have to remember that this movie is supposed to be fun. Obviously, I have no real control over if/when/how/what this movie will be (nor do I believe that anyone who would be penning this script will ever stumble across my blog,) but I do hope they keep at least that one tenant above all else true. This is a fun comedic movie. It is not a summer blockbuster, nor is it a place where we should try and cram as much advertising and revenue into it as possible (al la Man of Steel,) though I doubt Hollywood will be able to resist that one. Ghostbusters at its core was always about giving the audience an hour and a half break from their lives to laugh and enjoy the antics of four of the unlikeliest heroes, and that is something that cannot be missing from whatever the next Ghostbusters project is... At least that's my advice.