November 25, 2013

Pond of Consciousness: What Should this Blog be About?

It should probably be about Thanksgiving, what with the holiday coming up and all. There I go talking all timey-whimey-Matt-Smithish. I even said that last line in my head with a bad British accent. (cheerio, pip pip) Then again you can hardly blame me. I mean less than 24-hours ago I watched the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special and I am still on some kind of electric high. Geronimo. "So in other words, you're going to write this entire post in some kind of bad British accent," said the running monologue in my head. "Probably," replied the rational part of my brain which realizes I am only actually talking to myself, but that's not the point. I need to stay focused. I should do a Thanksgiving blog post. I can make a top ten list of the nerdy things I am most thankful for... Oh God, not another list. Why don't you just give in and admit half your ideas are ripped from Cracked.com and the other half aren't even worth mentioning... I have a few good ideas. People liked my old Aquaman post... (Black Vulcan was Aquaman's idea. And I said, "Well, maybe we should just call you White Fish!") Still living in the old triumphs, are we? That was a year ago. What have you written since, ehh? (Who would have thought Matt Smith could sound so harsh.) I could do a Doctor Who post... oh because if your readers aren't sick of lists, they're certainly not sick of hearing you go on about Doctor Who: Doctor Who is like Superman... Doctor Who makes me sad... etc... etc... It's all well and good I suppose, but why can't you try to be at least a little bit original. Besides what can you say about the 50th special that ten thousand other bloggers across the world haven't already said by now. If you have nothing new to add to conversation then why even open your mouth. Anything you add at this point would be entirely unimportant. In my 1,200 years of life I have never heard anyone say anything unimportant... I am thirsty. Why is my water bottle empty? It's always empty when I'm at my thirstiest. The water fountain is so far away. I should probably throw this bottle away anyway, not that I believe that bollix about carcinogens in reused Poland Spring bottles, and even if I did this is a Nestle's bottle... When did Nestle's move away from chocolate, and why do I always use British curses in my head... Can water bottles give me cancer? I should check... Does reusing... Oh Google filled it in for me... I guess a lot of people are worried about this... Snopes says its False... well mixed. Awesome, and I refuse to check anymore sites because I got the answer I wanted. I will not get cancer, at least not from water bottles. Suck it cancer... There that sounded American... Is it too much to ask for an American Doctor, or at the very least an American companion, preferably a thirsty office worker who wants to see the world but feels somewhat stuck in his middling job working at a desk and trying to be a writer. Maybe someone who traveled to Australia for a year... Just saying... then again an American Doctor is kind of a slap in the face to the Brits. I mean America has such a monopoly on the television industry, we shouldn't take this one away form them. I mean America got Captain Jack Harkniss (sort of), and that's pretty damn good... (Someone walked into my office) Anyway, I think I'll go with the Thanksgiving idea, but what am I thankful for? I just finally watched the first Hunger Games the other day. I'm thankful for the fact that I don't live in that fantasy world, even if it is just a tamer version of Battle Royale. I know those books have a loyal fan base, but I can't see anyone really getting into those books too far, for the simple fact that living in that world would not be a desirable option. I mean people who love Harry Potter want to go to Hogwarts. Trekkies want to go to Starfleet Academy, Star Wars people want to race around the galaxy in an X-Wing or with Han in the Falcon. Even people who like Game of Thrones probably wouldn't mind spending a few days in Westeros, as long as you stay away from attending any weddings, but with Hunger Games I just can't see it. "Oh I wish I was from one of the poor districts and I got offered up for a battle to the death against other kids... Yee haw..." Yee haw? That was a weird one... Allons-y... how do you spell "allons-y..." Google to the rescue... Really, it's just a "y" with no "e" at the end... I think I knew that. Of course, you new that, after the fact. You always think you know something after you learn it. That's like predicting the end of the movie after you watch it... Now I should write about how some movies are easier to predict than others, then talk about the Hunger Games again and bring it back around... Low blow, it's a young adult novel, after all. It's not exactly Storm of Swords... (another person walked into my office.) Where was I? I need to refocus my thoughts. Writing about what you're thinking to write about and then writing about writing about it, is waaaay too meta... Then again the name of the blog is Meta-Humanity... I made a funny... No seriously that's the point. It's examining life through the lens of our world, pop culture, nerd culture, fantasy, sci-fi, cartoons, world events, politics, why I still haven't filled my water bottle... You know who I would like to meet, Ian Mckellen and Patrick Stewart, preferably together. They don't even have to talk to me. I just want them to play chess against one another... I would be thankful for that... and he brings it around full circle back to the whole Thanksgiving motif. Oh you are a clever boy. I should also be thankful for things like friends, family, my beautiful/amazing/wonder/hot girlfriend (I wonder if she will read this), my health, and all the usual rubbish. I am thankful for my book which is going so very well. I just wish I had more time to work on it. Yeah, but I don't like mentioning my long-term writing projects in my blog. It seems so conceited... "Oh you should all check out my novel. It is stupendously stupendous. I am the most talented writer you will ever meet... blah blah." Maybe I should be thankful for abstract things like love and hate, the written language, WaWa turkey sandwiches. Yes, defiantly the gobbler turkey sandwich. WaWa is so on my list. So let's see, that's Doctor Who, the fact that I don't live in the Hunger Games, WaWa, health/happiness/etc... How many is that? Four? I just need six more, but I think that is my best bet. I will write this week's blog on my Thanksgiving thankfulness-ness, or is that too close to my last blog where I gave all that advice? Oh, screw it, I'll just do another stream of consciousness blog. 


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